The Workout Room

Posting videos weekly. Support this effort, and you'll be rewarded with exclusive content.
More information here: http://patreon.com/keithlowelljensen

Rolling Episode II: The Flow

I really love this episode because it shows the kind of fun a teetotaler comic can get up to on the road and it shows you how much fun the atheist crowd can be. No, we don't just sit around discussing our lack of belief in gods all day. We also have Nerf wars! The "war" footage is from last year's trek to perform at Skepticon!

Dear Taliban...

Happy Easter

Visit GenuineFaux.blogspot.com

Click image to enlarge

Religious Freedom?

Click image to see larger

Click here to visit the Genuine Faux Facebook page!

Genuine Faux

Click image to enlarge

I'm doing this comic strip with Junior Bruce and I'm really excited about it. I don't think blogger is the best place to showcase it but I wanted to share right away. Watch for an official page soon. Advice more than welcome. Click here for more comics.

An Atheist Symbol

Atheists want a symbol.

Christians have the cross, Muslims the crescent, Jews the star of David, etc. etc. (Sorry to the millions of religions who were reduced to an etc. )

The symbols I've seen proposed for us, frankly, suck. A check mark, a Scarlet Letter style A, a circle with a slash through it. I will admit I kind of liked the Ghostbusters symbol with a halo added above the ghost but I think I have found the ultimate symbol for us atheist.

This bunny having sex with a rooster (often labeled "Where Easter eggs come from.")

Why? Well, mostly because it would be so much fun to watch them try and work it into the Coexist bumper sticker. I've got $20 to the best (or first in case of a tie) photo-shop depicting that Coexist bumper sticker. E-mail me at keithlowelljensen @ gmail dot com with your entries. No attachments please.

Yet MORE Atheistic Stand Up...

I did finally get up a couple of new stand up videos. I'm still on the religious beat as The Coexist Comedy Tour continues to be my main gig.

More Goofing On Religion


Goofing on Religion

Jesus Died For Me?

Fundy on my youtube page: "Jesus Died For You!"

Me: "Yeah. That's kind of a crappy gift aint it? I mean, if you're thinking of getting me something for my birthday, I'd rather have some comic books... a chocolate bar maybe, pretty much anything but that.

No? You're going to die for me. Um, you’re broke aren't you? Look man its cool, um, hey, you could vacuum for me! Yeah, how'd that be? I'd really like that much better. If you go dying for me, what goods it do me? I got a body to explain, they'll be an inquiry, in 2,000 years people'll be talking about it, getting into fights, righting snarky blogs. Wouldn't it be better if the carpets were clean? I mean that's something we can all enjoy."

Imagine if you could go door to door and tell people Jesus vacuumed for them.
Wouldn't that be spectacular?
"He did? He vacuumed for me?"
"Oh yeah, look at your carpet, all vacuumed, see?"
"Oh man, that's fantastic."

And if it got competitive that'd be even better.
"Hi I'm with the Buddhists. Would you mind incredibly if we waxed your car?"
"No, no that's fine. The Muslims are tuning it up right at the moment, but the Hare Krishna's are just finishing up mowing the lawn if you'd like to wait in the yard for a bit. Thanks."

The Devil's Advocate

Satan. I think he gets a bad rap.

If he was so unreasonable in his complaints against the big guy then why did so many other angels join him? It’s not easy to motivate people to revolution.

And, if the boss man was so mighty and powerful why did he make so many concessions when they reached a peace? The treaty of Versailles this was not. Satan got access to humans, his own domain, and apparently control over most of the entertainment industry as well.

Sure, the BOOK says it happened one way, but who wrote the book? Would you study the American Revolution by reading King George’s book?

God Man teams up with Human Man

Click on to enlarge

Atheist Tag Lines

Just starting here, but I want to grow myself a list of atheist slogans!

Atheism: You don't have to read any books!
Atheism: All the premarital sex, None of the guilt.
Atheism: We can dig science, even when we're not sick
Atheists: We DON'T think you're going to hell
Atheism: Because self righteousness if more fun when you're right!

More to come...

Not Actually In The Bible

A recent report indicates that Americans are some of the most religious people on the planet but score horribly on biblical knowledge. I'd like to help.
Over the years many things have been rumored to be in the Bible that actually are not. Let's explore a few of these here..

The Golden Rule; Do unto other as you would have done unto you.
This one IS in there, but it's worded differently. This more commonly known wording is, as far as I can tell, from a 1963 book on B&D, S&M ettiquette titled "Safewords and Hanky Codes made simple."

Here's a really surprising one. Contrary to popular belief, neither "Vote Republican" nor "Bush, Cheny in 2004" are found in the bible, except where they've been added which is frequently the case.

God made the dirt, so the dirt can't hurt. Amazingly enough, this gem which led to much eating of dirt in my child hood is not scripture. It seems that in fact many of Gods creations, not excluding humans, are quite capable of inflicting hurt as is God himself. (A wink to Jones, fellow dirt eater.)

Mythical Creatures. The unicorn IS actually in the Bible, Leprachans, Tela-Tubbies, funny republicans, intelligent and/or productive internet debate, natural disaster proof trailer parks, a cure for warts or dinosaurs however are not.

Spare the Twinkie, spoil the child; not in there. Not that my mom ever fell for that one anyway.

Kill everyone that believes differently than you. Not in there. Sorry. No, please, calm down, there's no need to get violent. Okay, okay it's in. I'm writing it in right now, please, have a seat.

I guess I'd better leave off there, for now.

Witness my Hatred and Bitterness

A Myspace exchange:

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Keith Lowell Jensen
Date: Mar 9, 2007 11:51 PM

I'd ask you not to leave prayers and religious writings on my page unless you're comfortable with me leaving my Atheist writings on yours. If you leave such comments again I will assume that it's you giving me permission to post such.
Thanks. Peace,
KLJ

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Omitted out of respect for privacy
Date: Mar 10, 2007 7:33 AM


If you don't like it, you can always delete me as a friend.

Thank you,

(And they signed their nom de plume here)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Keith Lowell Jensen
Date: Mar 10, 2007 9:08 AM

Well, like I said, I will have to assume that it's an invitation for me to behave in kind. If that's okay with you than by all means, have at it.
Sincerely,
Keith


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Omitted out of respect for privacy
Date: Mar 10, 2007 9:27 AM


Keith, I am not afraid of you and your aethiest writings. When you stand before God on judgement day, you will have to answer for each and everyone of them. Why you have decided to deny your maker and creator is beyond me. Why you have decided to display such feelings of hatred and bitterness to a believer in Christ says a lot about your own heart.

Either way Keith, regardless of what you believe, there is a God who loves you, who created you, and who sent his one and only perfect son, Jesus Christ, clothed in man's flesh, to die on a cross for you. Your sin put him there. He was (is) perfect in every way shape and form, and when he died, it was your face that he saw. He did this for you. He is offering you a gift of grace, of complete forgiveness of your sins, and all you have to do is ask him for it.

I sincerely hope you find your way to him, and in all sincerity, I will keep you in my prayers.

In His Love,
Their name went here


And my final reply which recieved no response other than them cancelling me as their friend:

Where have I shown you bitterness or hatred?
I certainly don't feel these things.

All my correspondence with you can be read by scrolling down. Please show me where I've been bitter or hateful so I can avoid coming across that way in the future.

I simply wanted to make sure we understood each other. I will welcome you expressing your beliefs on my site only if I'm given equal courtesy on yours. That's fair isn't it?

As for your curiosity about why I deny my maker and such, my Hindu and Muslim friends wonder the same about you. I love them despite our differences in belief and believe me, please, I bear you no ill will either.

Peace,
KLJ

PS: If you really do want an detailed explanation of why I am not a Christian let me know. I'd be happy to write it up.


I thought it was a strange little exchange. And before anybody freaks out on me, I'm not judging all Christians here. This is just one exchange with one looney, that is all. One looney with a seriously strong need to feel like a martyr.

Yes, I'm an idiot

Okay, so I should just let it go.
But I won't.
This guy, he just infuriates me.

His myspace profile name is Atheism Sucks, so I should've known better and, again, all the more reason why I should just let it go. (Mind you, a site called Christianity Sucks would strike me as being just as ridiculous.)

So, anyway, someone just used the expression "Begs the question..." and they followed that with the freakin' question, the way I assume one should. And it reminded me of this insane debate I had with this guy. He would accuse me of dodging no matter what I said, and he'd say "Begs the question." but not follow up with a question, he was just all out a moron, or else I am, it just has to be one or the other in this case.

Got in a conversation with another theist and... she's so cool .Polite, well reasoned, I'm really enjoying our conversation, debate, whatever. And she understands that if I question her theory, attacking what she assumes is mine isn't a response. So, I'm pretty sure this guy is a moron.

What do you think? Read the "debate" by clicking here
and note how insanely friendly I tried to be. I am a pretty friendly guy for the most part.

Why bother with the God thing.

Thanks Jennifer for the graphic
People want to know why I bother with the God question.

It's weird, I think that it's a boring discussion in a way, I don't want to discuss the existence of god anymore than I want to discuss the existence of Leprechauns, but there's the frustrating contingent of people insisting that Leprechauns exist.

They keep trying to waste my tax dollars looking for the pot of gold. They hassle my midget friends. They accuse me of waging a war against St. Patrick's Day if I don't celebrate with corned beef and cabbage. They follow me home when I buy Guinness or Lucky Charms. Leave me alone bastards, I just like to poor Guinness over me Lucky Charms! You'll never get me gold, na ha ha ha ha.

As always, I welcome your comments, but I'd encourage you to post something fun. We've had enough theist/atheist debates to last awhile. I'm not saying you shouldn't express your beliefs, please, have at it, but have fun with it. Erin Go Bragh!

Atheists are as irrational as religious believers

Or more irrational.
This is an argument I've heard a-lot lately, especially from people calling themselves agnostic.

The reasoning is that we atheists believe that something doesn't exist though we have no evidence that it doesn't exist.

If I told you of a lollipop pooping pink rhino that I believe may exist though I have no evidence to present to you, or no evidence that you found credible or scientifically sound, would you be irrational for not believing in this rhino?

If 2,000 years from now your ancestors also did not believe in this rhino would they be irrational?

Do you believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster? If not, does this make you irrational?

I can think of lots of things that you don't believe in and I can make up lots of things for you not to believe in.

Lack of evidence is a perfectly rational reason to believe that something does not exist.

An atheist may believe that there could possibly be other life out there in this big universe, and that this other life could be more advanced than we are currently. Atheists can leave room for lots of possibility in the undiscovered world, but while we work on discovery it is not irrational to let go of the old explanations that were made up in the absence of knowledge.

It was once believed that god "put the baby there." Now we know about sperm and egg and the humping. It was once believed that god responded to the sacrifice of animals. Now we know about the protein in their blood serving as fertilizer, we also know that poop works better. Would it be rational for me to continue believing that god is behind the other mysteries we haven't solved or is it more rational, as a scientific minded person to accept that there are unknowns?


To simplify and summarize let me ask you this; How the hell do you prove something DOESN'T exist? Why, that's just silly. You prove something DOES exist, or you prove that it's likely it DOES exist while you continue to look for absolute proof of it's existence.

Take an Atheist To Church Day

I'm seriously considering doing a take an atheist to church experiment, if there's enough interest.
I would solicit invitations to Church (an invitation that includes buying me lunch would certainly have an advantage.) I will choose one invite to accept, and attend a church service or mass or what have you, Muslim, Christian, Konko, Jewish, Buddhist, whatever.
I will be respectful and attentive. My respect and my love for the theists in my life, including those in my family will lead me to behave myself. I'm interested in showing and receiving respect, not in poking fun or agitating.
I will make it clear that trying to convert me will not be likely, (though such efforts are perfectly welcome) but I will encourage open, frank discussion of things like prayer in school, and the ten commandments in government building.
Thoughts?

Darwin's Lost Writings

They just found these hidden inside a Valentine card that Darwin had written to Fanny Owen. Here is a selection from the text:

"For he or she who shall believe in my theory shall be rewarded with a graceful forehead and increased cranium but lo you that rejecteth mine wisdom shall be doomed to walk upon thine knuckles.

Let he or she who sings praises of the ideas I present have given unto him or her coupling with they who would not only produce the mostadvantaged of offspring but shall excite and stimulate with biological advantageous features of symmetry and fine hip to waste ratio and the like.

And for they who would reject my theory let the sex be barely satisfying and impossible to complete without the conjuring of images of those who they'd rather enter into reproductive activities with or let them be satisfied only by solo acts which shall not result in their gene for intellectual stubbornness being passed on.

And just to cover my bases, I ask any gods, deities, nebulous entities or network of such to reward those who would seek to fully understand the universe rather than reward them that would spend their life kissing the divine ass in expectation of heavenly reward. I mean seriously dude, if youain't gonna return my calls what am I supposed to think?

It is my wish then that my believers might paste fishes with feet growing from them upon their horseless carriages which are even now evolving from those horse powered carriages which now bear us. It will please me to believe that these believers might gather in groups and sing praises unto me and carry the most modern and evolved ofweapons with which they must smote all who believe not in my theory thus removing from the gene pool any who might doubt the greatness of Darwin for I am surely great andpowerful and any doubt as to my greatness must not be tolerated.

And these followers shall consider only my theories and shall refuse to consider other theories and shall enact laws which forbid the discussion of said theories and shall deny theirchildren access to such theories for surely these other theories be blasphemous and full of poop.

And the Darwinites shall be a mighty nation upon the earth and shall rule for a Milena and shall evolve into supermen and be mighty sexy and get cake and ice cream every day of their life."

Wow, I can see why he thought better of publishing this stuff. Another wise move by Darwin.

Happy Birthday Chuck. Thanks.

Jesus Christ CEO

The second coming (c) hasn't had quite the impact one might've expected. In fact the largest affect it's had is on our shopping habits, you know, convenience and lower prices and all. A few folks have gotten rich, if they were smart enough and had the resources to buy stock, and more folks, like myself had to make some adjustments as certain small businesses were gobbled up. I ran a bait and tackle off of highway 99. Thought I'd be there for life. It was the perfect location, right there on the way to the river and a thoroughfare for people making their way up north to do some more serious fishing. Now I'm a "Blesser/Greeter"(c) at the Super Church.(c) I'm hoping to work my way up to the sports department eventually, but even that will pale compared to the joy of owning my own business. Oh well, life goes on yeah?

Read the rest of this story by clicking here.