Tuesday, September 24, 2013

I lose a phone face off for the first time

"Do you have room to take on more work?"

"Don't you want to make more money?"
No. We have too much money. It's everywhere. I have a full time employee who just goes around shoveling it into drawers, burying it, finding places to put it. I tried buying everyone ice cream. Turns out ice cream isn't that expensive.

"I think the solution is to make more money."
Yeah, well, the cash is always greener on the other side. I'm telling you it's awful. Have you ever gotten a paper cut from a dirty $500 bill?

"No, I haven't. I take it you get a lot of these calls?"
Yes, I do.

"I can guarantee you I'm different than anyone else who has called you."
Well so far you sound really similar including that part about being different.

She didn't give up. I finally said "No thanks but I admire your tenacity." and hung up myself. First time I've been beat.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Friday, September 20, 2013

Hey, I don't call them, they call me! More GOOGLE!

"We can get you on the front page of Google."
Yeah? How much'll Google pay us for that.
"No, you pay Google."
Why would I pay THEM to fill up THEIR website?
"Sir it's marketing."
Well if I go to the MARKET and I buy some oranges, them oranges didn't pay to be there.
"Well sir, Google has to make money."
Then they better sell the oranges!
"... "
Hey, I'm looking at the front page, Google.com, and it doesn't have anything on it but Google. It just says Google. Nobody has paid to be on the front page I guess. I don't think this is a good plan.

Dude hangs up at this point. VICTORY!