Hello my blogreading friends,
I'd like to announce here that I am now, officially an alternative, alternative comic.
My act will seem just like anyone else's, but in my case it's totally intentional.
And a bit ironic.
Its like post-post modern traditionalist neo-vaudeville.
Enjoy.
Also I'm experimenting with back masking. tell me if the message says anything when you read it backwards okay?
Thanks.
Keith
PS: Steve Martin stole my act.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Bad Language and Tramp Stamps ahead...
So, I usually don't get hostile to my audience no matter what. I've even walked off stage and hugged a heckler before, explaining that I understood his need for attention.
But something about the three little bottle blond tramp stamped 20 year olds who came to the comedy show to sit right up front and then hold their own conversation through everybody's act and show each other the texts they were receiving on their phones just made my blood boil
So, there I am, explaining the wheel of Samsara."So, if you're a bad guy you could come back in the next life as something worse, like a stand up comic in a fucking pizza parlor. (then specifically to the bimbos) seriously, what the fuck was I in my past life to deserve you? Shit, I must have been Hitler! (in voice of god) 'Little hard on the Jews there Adolph. Have fun doing comedy in Sunnyvale.'"
Later I told a joke about animal testing that references lonely lab techs and one of the vapid three laughed. "Oh you like the monkey fucking jokes? Okay, I'm glad I know now. Next time I'm in Sunnyvale it's all monkey fucking all the time, got it."
Wheeeeeee Fun!
What I didn't say was: NO Twenty year old has an excuse to have a tatooed lower back. Unless they were inked up in their pre-teens they got that tattoo AFTER the term Tramp Stamp came into effect. They were familiar with the term. Did they ask for it by name? "Uh, yeah, Snake, can I get 'free blowjobs tattooed on my chin? No wait, never mind, just tramp stamp me instead."
FUCK YOU SUNNYVALE.
UPDATE: Sorry Sunnyvale. I love you. I wasn't actually in Sunnyvale. I don't usually drive to gigs so I never can remember where I am. When I'm offered a gig and there is someone to carpool with (bum a ride off of) I just concentrate on where and when I'm getting picked up and then I magically arrive at some venue with a stage. Yeah, it is pretty pathetic to not even know what town you're cursing. Ah well. Sunnyvale, I owe you one.
But something about the three little bottle blond tramp stamped 20 year olds who came to the comedy show to sit right up front and then hold their own conversation through everybody's act and show each other the texts they were receiving on their phones just made my blood boil
So, there I am, explaining the wheel of Samsara."So, if you're a bad guy you could come back in the next life as something worse, like a stand up comic in a fucking pizza parlor. (then specifically to the bimbos) seriously, what the fuck was I in my past life to deserve you? Shit, I must have been Hitler! (in voice of god) 'Little hard on the Jews there Adolph. Have fun doing comedy in Sunnyvale.'"
Later I told a joke about animal testing that references lonely lab techs and one of the vapid three laughed. "Oh you like the monkey fucking jokes? Okay, I'm glad I know now. Next time I'm in Sunnyvale it's all monkey fucking all the time, got it."
Wheeeeeee Fun!
What I didn't say was: NO Twenty year old has an excuse to have a tatooed lower back. Unless they were inked up in their pre-teens they got that tattoo AFTER the term Tramp Stamp came into effect. They were familiar with the term. Did they ask for it by name? "Uh, yeah, Snake, can I get 'free blowjobs tattooed on my chin? No wait, never mind, just tramp stamp me instead."
FUCK YOU SUNNYVALE.
UPDATE: Sorry Sunnyvale. I love you. I wasn't actually in Sunnyvale. I don't usually drive to gigs so I never can remember where I am. When I'm offered a gig and there is someone to carpool with (bum a ride off of) I just concentrate on where and when I'm getting picked up and then I magically arrive at some venue with a stage. Yeah, it is pretty pathetic to not even know what town you're cursing. Ah well. Sunnyvale, I owe you one.
Friday, August 8, 2008
John Ross
John Ross has been cracking me up for years. He walks on stage looking very much the dork with his strange musical instrument in hand, a pair of black framed glasses on his face. He continues to be the offbeat dork as he casually wanders through the tragedies and low points of his life. With a matter of fact attitude Ross explores his parent's drug addiction, his mother's death, his own sometimes fragile Faith; The amazing thing about Ross' act is that it never exploits the horror of its often dark subject matter. He takes the life he was given with an almost absurd cheer and mines it for comedic gems hidden amidst the wreckage. The end result is unique, hilarious and oddly
touching.John Ross is taping his first live comedy DVD and you can be a part of it.
October 4th, 2008
7:30 PM ¤ The 24th Street Theater
2791 24th Street
Sacramento, CA 95818
Cost: $15
www.brownpapertickets.com
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Sexy, Funny me
I am so sexy.
I am so funny.
No, for real. I know, I know, I had trouble believing it at first, but its true!
Have a peek at my myspace comments section. It's right there, written by a real live girl and a smart and pretty one at that (No, it isn't another of my fake profiles smartass!)
And hey, lucky you, you get to be friends with sexy, funny me. And as my less sexy, less funny friend you totally get my castoffs. It may not sound so great at first, but I'm married (and faithfully so) so my cast offs are to be plentiful. Yeah baby, that's the stuff.
Had an awesome night last night. Stepped outside of my safety zone and went to a mainstream, weeknight room where I wasn't performing within a theme and I did great. I had a good time and so did the audience. It is nice to know that I can still be funny without relying on my atheist material which only made up a tiny fraction of my shtick last night.
Speaking of, HOLY CRAP, look at the shows I have booked on my page. Coexist? is getting some amazing bookings. And there is even a secret booking that I'm not at liberty to discuss yet that is going to be AWESOME.
Okay then, bye bye.
I am so funny.
No, for real. I know, I know, I had trouble believing it at first, but its true!
Have a peek at my myspace comments section. It's right there, written by a real live girl and a smart and pretty one at that (No, it isn't another of my fake profiles smartass!)
And hey, lucky you, you get to be friends with sexy, funny me. And as my less sexy, less funny friend you totally get my castoffs. It may not sound so great at first, but I'm married (and faithfully so) so my cast offs are to be plentiful. Yeah baby, that's the stuff.
Had an awesome night last night. Stepped outside of my safety zone and went to a mainstream, weeknight room where I wasn't performing within a theme and I did great. I had a good time and so did the audience. It is nice to know that I can still be funny without relying on my atheist material which only made up a tiny fraction of my shtick last night.
Speaking of, HOLY CRAP, look at the shows I have booked on my page. Coexist? is getting some amazing bookings. And there is even a secret booking that I'm not at liberty to discuss yet that is going to be AWESOME.
Okay then, bye bye.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Infidel Guy
I'm excited to be tonight's guest on The Infidel Guy Radio Show.
www.infidelguy.com
Click on the link at 5pm PST and hear me and The Infidel chat about the Coexist? Comedy Tour and lots of other great stuff.
www.infidelguy.com
Click on the link at 5pm PST and hear me and The Infidel chat about the Coexist? Comedy Tour and lots of other great stuff.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Doctor Demento and Francois Fly
Francois Fly is being interviewed by the legendary Dr. Demento next Saturday and sometime after that you'll be able to see the footage and turn green with envy.Speaking of turning green, it turns out The Interloper, Alien Warrior Comedian is going to be interviewed after Francois.
More details and photographic evidence of this historic meeting as they become available.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Nicole
Nicole was the first love of my life.
She died a couple weeks back of a drug overdose.
I don't have any profound thoughts on it.
I hadn't been in touch with Nicole in over ten years other than once running into her and her then husband at the supermarket and a couple years back I had coffee with her after her father died.
I was not in touch with her during these last few years of heavy drug use. I don't know of her having such problems earlier in her life, other than drinking more than your average high school student when we were kids. She had a very high tolerance for the booze, which at that age made it seem like less of a problem though it should have alarmed us.
She was sweet, happy and very easy going. In hindsight, she was more than easy going; she was following the path of least resistance, rudderless, whether it led to harm or health. I broke up with her, more than once, as I felt like I was becoming an asshole controlling type since she never stood up to me.
At the funeral they played a photo-montage of her and I found myself getting angry. People were speaking and I felt myself getting angry. Passive suicide makes me furious. To live or not, that is a decision to make, not something to leave to chance. I can understand suicide but I can't understand this.
At the wake there was a video another friend of Nicole's had shot in high school. There she was; flirty, silly, happy but ready to do something, anything, ready for fun, abuse, danger, love, whatever. It was a state she was supposed to outgrow like the rest of us. We were supposed to sit for coffee again and reflect on old times. She was supposed to return my calls or accept my countless invitations to go here or there or just to chat on the phone. Her masters degree and her natural intelligence and how much we all loved her should've pulled her through. But they didn't and she is dead. Fuck.
She died a couple weeks back of a drug overdose.
I don't have any profound thoughts on it.
I hadn't been in touch with Nicole in over ten years other than once running into her and her then husband at the supermarket and a couple years back I had coffee with her after her father died.
I was not in touch with her during these last few years of heavy drug use. I don't know of her having such problems earlier in her life, other than drinking more than your average high school student when we were kids. She had a very high tolerance for the booze, which at that age made it seem like less of a problem though it should have alarmed us.
She was sweet, happy and very easy going. In hindsight, she was more than easy going; she was following the path of least resistance, rudderless, whether it led to harm or health. I broke up with her, more than once, as I felt like I was becoming an asshole controlling type since she never stood up to me.
At the funeral they played a photo-montage of her and I found myself getting angry. People were speaking and I felt myself getting angry. Passive suicide makes me furious. To live or not, that is a decision to make, not something to leave to chance. I can understand suicide but I can't understand this.
At the wake there was a video another friend of Nicole's had shot in high school. There she was; flirty, silly, happy but ready to do something, anything, ready for fun, abuse, danger, love, whatever. It was a state she was supposed to outgrow like the rest of us. We were supposed to sit for coffee again and reflect on old times. She was supposed to return my calls or accept my countless invitations to go here or there or just to chat on the phone. Her masters degree and her natural intelligence and how much we all loved her should've pulled her through. But they didn't and she is dead. Fuck.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Yet MORE Atheistic Stand Up...
I did finally get up a couple of new stand up videos. I'm still on the religious beat as The Coexist Comedy Tour continues to be my main gig.
More Goofing On Religion
Goofing on Religion
More Goofing On Religion
Goofing on Religion
Transsexual Comedy Ha Has Update
So my friend Paige (see last post) was back at the comedy club this weekend. By several accounts she tore it up. One good set is all it takes, Paige will now be hopelessly addicted to the art form of stand up. Once you get that laugh you just can't live without it.
I missed it as I was home sick, but someone taped and Paige is hoping to get some clips.
I will be there next week with my own camera.
I missed it as I was home sick, but someone taped and Paige is hoping to get some clips.
I will be there next week with my own camera.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)