Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Don't Do Drugs THE BOOK

We all love cautionary tales of junkie excess; Wonderland Ave, The Kid Stays In The Picture, Blow. The message is presented as "Don't do what I did." but really comes across more like, "Don't do what I did, UNLESS YOU WANT TO HAVE A HELLUVA LOT OF FUN!"
So, I'm working on writing one of my own. Here is how I imagine the marketing:

MARVEL!!! as our hero tries drugs and immediately embarks on a global, rock and roll adventure of epic proportions!!!

as lusty drug craving super models take our hero to places most of us would be truly willing to die for!!!

with envy as drug addiction and reckless, suicidal abandon give our hero a life worth reading about on your coffee breaks from your dull, meaningless job.

the exciting final chapter where our hero almost sucks dick for crack but stops at the last minute realizing that actually sucking dick for crack might cost him his book deal or at the very least lose him an important demographic!!!

as our hero continues sleeping with super model types who flock to his book signings where he, six months sober after a small post advance check relapse, warns us all of the terrible consequences of drug use.

Keep your eyes peeled for Don't Do Drugs THE MOVIE! as soon as the author recovers from his latest relapse enough to sign the release.

I think it'll be a best seller. Now I just need to find some drugs and super models. A little help please?

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