A Swede Singin' To Me

I went to LA and had dinner with some friends at Torung for my birthday, then we went to Wilton Place and hung out in The Lizard Boys apartment. A sister in law brought a Kiwi, an Aussie sang Men at Work and a Swede sang me happy birthday. It was truly an international event and a real good time.

Daniel is great. Go to his myspace and say hello. myspace.com/danielpersson

In LA again

I drove down here with Bryna, my mom and my nephew Li'l Erick (he's 6' 4".)

I've had quick visits with my brother Edward and his family and my brother James plus family now I'm at Brett's house with Bryna. Tonight we celebrate my birthday with some friends at Torung, my favorite Thai restaurant and tomorrow there's a party for James' birthday. We're not twins, we're just two weeks shy of being born five years apart.

I LOVE Los Feliz, where Brett's home aka Wilton Place is located. I want to do a ten minute documentary on Wilton Place. This place it amazing. Most every apartment is filled with an artist, musician or other crazy person. The landlord Mike is the lead singer for the Pygmy Love Circus. He recently found out he has cancer. on his door is now a list, "Mike Savage's I Have Cancer To Do List." He got to number 4 before Get Rid Of Cancer made the list. There is space to add your own things to the list. I may have to add "Make sweet, sweet love to Keith Lowell Jensen" to his list tonight."

I'm stoked to be here, looking forward to dinner. Bye for now.

Take an Atheist To Church Day

I'm seriously considering doing a take an atheist to church experiment, if there's enough interest.
I would solicit invitations to Church (an invitation that includes buying me lunch would certainly have an advantage.) I will choose one invite to accept, and attend a church service or mass or what have you, Muslim, Christian, Konko, Jewish, Buddhist, whatever.
I will be respectful and attentive. My respect and my love for the theists in my life, including those in my family will lead me to behave myself. I'm interested in showing and receiving respect, not in poking fun or agitating.
I will make it clear that trying to convert me will not be likely, (though such efforts are perfectly welcome) but I will encourage open, frank discussion of things like prayer in school, and the ten commandments in government building.
Thoughts?

Gay Funny Ha Ha

This is rad. Yep, no better word for it, totally rad, oh and gay, for sure, totally rad and totally gay.
Btw, I found this at heckasac. Thanks heckles (my own little pet name, ©2007.)

gack

Tired! Spent all day helping the gang at Horse Cow (a local art gallery/ community/ militia/ commune/ street gang) pack up their endless mountains of crap, er sorry, I mean, stuff and put it on pallets to be moved to their new space. God I'm beat.
No news on the book front. Behind on my homework. More later.

Lucky 13

Thirteen years Bryna and I have been together. Wow. That's a long time. We've been engaged for three of those thirteen years. We'll get married eventually, but after a ten year courtship a long engagement seems natural.

So, we're heading out of town on Saturday. Not going far, just to a bed and breakfast in Auburn. Ssssh, don't tell her, its a surprise. We'll have a nice dinner, then enjoy a claw foot bathtub, some movies and a bit of internet porn. Just kidding about that last part. That's what I'd be doing if I was going by myself.

Please Reply

Okay, a person that I'm really excited about is interested in my book. More details soon.
For now I need to pick a single chapter or maybe less to use as a sample.

A list with links to every chapter, ie every job is HERE.

Those of you that read these, which chapter do you think stands on it's own and best represents the book?

Let me know in the comments section. Thanks.

Yes, I know I've asked this before. I'm askin' again. If your answer hasn't changed, please post it again here. I do appreciate it.

Darwin's Lost Writings

They just found these hidden inside a Valentine card that Darwin had written to Fanny Owen. Here is a selection from the text:

"For he or she who shall believe in my theory shall be rewarded with a graceful forehead and increased cranium but lo you that rejecteth mine wisdom shall be doomed to walk upon thine knuckles.

Let he or she who sings praises of the ideas I present have given unto him or her coupling with they who would not only produce the mostadvantaged of offspring but shall excite and stimulate with biological advantageous features of symmetry and fine hip to waste ratio and the like.

And for they who would reject my theory let the sex be barely satisfying and impossible to complete without the conjuring of images of those who they'd rather enter into reproductive activities with or let them be satisfied only by solo acts which shall not result in their gene for intellectual stubbornness being passed on.

And just to cover my bases, I ask any gods, deities, nebulous entities or network of such to reward those who would seek to fully understand the universe rather than reward them that would spend their life kissing the divine ass in expectation of heavenly reward. I mean seriously dude, if youain't gonna return my calls what am I supposed to think?

It is my wish then that my believers might paste fishes with feet growing from them upon their horseless carriages which are even now evolving from those horse powered carriages which now bear us. It will please me to believe that these believers might gather in groups and sing praises unto me and carry the most modern and evolved ofweapons with which they must smote all who believe not in my theory thus removing from the gene pool any who might doubt the greatness of Darwin for I am surely great andpowerful and any doubt as to my greatness must not be tolerated.

And these followers shall consider only my theories and shall refuse to consider other theories and shall enact laws which forbid the discussion of said theories and shall deny theirchildren access to such theories for surely these other theories be blasphemous and full of poop.

And the Darwinites shall be a mighty nation upon the earth and shall rule for a Milena and shall evolve into supermen and be mighty sexy and get cake and ice cream every day of their life."

Wow, I can see why he thought better of publishing this stuff. Another wise move by Darwin.

Happy Birthday Chuck. Thanks.

Yeah, so I'm networking

Okay, so I'm at that stage where I need to ask my friends and perfect strangers as well if they know anyone in the book publishing/agenting business who would be willing to look at my query letter. This is exciting. You can be a part of getting my book published, for real! And then I have a fence you can whitewash for me! Rad! The query letter looks a bit like this:

Dear whoever

I am seeking representation for my memoir, Work Ethic? Complete at 113,5000 words.

Work Ethic? is based on my own adventures seeking identity and employment in the American job market, being hired and fired (sometimes I quit) from over 30 jobs before my 30th birthday.

While on the clock, and in the pages of Work Ethic? I have;

• Had a SWAT Team aim guns at my head. (Theatre Manager)
• Been arrested for bringing a gun into an international airport. (Flyer Distribution)
• Done dishes with a rock star. (Café Dishwasher)
• Been punched in the face by my boss. (Former Bus Boy)
• Punched a subordinate in the face. (Film Festival Promoter)
• Called for the internment of all Arab American's on a nationally syndicated "angry white guy with a goatee" type radio show. (There was a context to this.)
  

Work Ethic will appeal to fans of Michelle Tea, Beth Lisick, Dave Eggers, Hillary Carlip and David Sedaris. The book is told with a sense of humor but often explores the dark and even the mundane moments that one comes across while seeking enlightenment and employment.

Work Ethic existed first as a blog, written almost entirely while on the clock. The blog has been immensely popular drawing up to 85,000 views per month with not a dime spent on promotion.

In addition to working too many jobs I’ve made a name for myself as a comedian, freelance writer and weird uncle.

My interview credits include Bob Newhart, Ryan Styles, Neil Hamburger, Gift of Gab, and my hero The Unknown Comic. In five years of professional writing I’ve covered mixed martial arts fighting, music, book, comic book and art reviews, comedy and technology.

Thank you for you consideration.
Sincerely,

Keith Lowell Jensen



An excerpt from The Washington Posts review of Morbid Curiosity

“The Morbid the Merrier? Alas, No More.
By Peter Carlson
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, June 20, 2006; C02
The funniest of these medical horror stories is "I Hate My Guts," Keith Lowell Jensen's hilarious account of his colon disease. Like any good colon disease tale, it gets a little . . . um, gamey. But if you stick with it, you're rewarded with the story of Jensen's colonoscopy photos.
"The photos were shown around," he writes. "They were even published online, resulting in a fan site dedicated to my colon and an original piece of art being made from the photos and submitted to be displayed at the California State Fair. The State Fair rejected my colon."
Needless to say, Morbid Curiosity didn't reject Jensen's colon, and his colonoscopy photos illustrate this demented masterpiece.”

Jesus Christ CEO

The second coming (c) hasn't had quite the impact one might've expected. In fact the largest affect it's had is on our shopping habits, you know, convenience and lower prices and all. A few folks have gotten rich, if they were smart enough and had the resources to buy stock, and more folks, like myself had to make some adjustments as certain small businesses were gobbled up. I ran a bait and tackle off of highway 99. Thought I'd be there for life. It was the perfect location, right there on the way to the river and a thoroughfare for people making their way up north to do some more serious fishing. Now I'm a "Blesser/Greeter"(c) at the Super Church.(c) I'm hoping to work my way up to the sports department eventually, but even that will pale compared to the joy of owning my own business. Oh well, life goes on yeah?

Read the rest of this story by clicking here.