I Rode The Short Bus

I was talking with a friend of mine who also does stand up. We were discussing the sad truth that there are really earnest, hardworking guys in this game who just don't seem to have it and who seem unlikely to get it, but they chase it like nobody's business. They would seem to be delusional. But that's the problem with being delusional. The main symptom is that you don't know you're delusional which begs the question, how do we know that WE are not THEM!

When I was a kid I got put in the GATE program, for smart kids. Which meant taking the bus to a different school. It was a short bus.

That school had classes for mentally retarded kids too. They rode the same short bus I did.
My brothers told me I was retarded. They told me all those other kids on the bus were told they were smart too. I asked the other kids. My brothers were right. This messed with my head something awful!!

If the retarded kids didn't know they were retarded how could I know that I wasn't retarded?
Eventually I got to be friends with the other kids on the short bus and we had a great time. They were pretty clear that while they liked me, I was different. I figured they'd know better than I.

My CD reviewed and Bootlegged

My CD has received it's first review courtesy of BadMouth.net. Muppet voiced? You know, I never realized I had an unusual voice but I've been hearing a lot of this kind of stuff lately. One guy called me "A Very Gay Will Ferrel with Kermit The Frog's Voice."

And my friend Scott has announced his intentions to bootleg the CD, selling his version, edited down to "just the funny bits" with a new cover featuring "less KLJ, more farm animal" for just $2. I hope the "Just the funny bits" doesn't mean he is selling a blank disc, though that would be quite hilarious.
Scott's lovely wife Lori photoshopped up the new cover. I like it.

Ha ha.

Atheist Church July 26, 2009 Goodbye to Thugs

2009 Gathering Of The Juggalos Infomercial

There are times when I hate America...

Keith Lowell Jensen Rocks Ass

Brent Weinbach "The Night Shift" Promo #1

Super excited about this!

Contest. Why?

Shit. I do a great set, I feel good, then I enter a contest. Time between entering and actually performing in contest is spent realizing I hate contests. I am confident that I have something special to offer, that I am prolific and that I manage to be funny while tackling subject matter that means a-lot to me. But when I have to do my best five minutes and put it up against everyone else's best five in front of a crowd and in front of judges that aren't necessarily my demographic I get really insecure.
I feel like I'm the turtle in this race. The hare being these young comics who are better than me at just getting up there and not giving a shit and just cracking up any crowd, any time. Of course the turtle has stamina and keeps going and doesn't burn out but damn, the turtle has to spend a-lot of time with that freakin' rabbit in front of him and it gets pretty damn discouraging.
Ah well. Competition, August 5th, The Purple Onion. Come cheer me on. :D

Manswers

So, word is the episode of Manswers I was on aired again last night. It's always fun hearing from everyone that they saw me on TV.
On Spike TV's Manswers

Atheist Church July 19, 2009 It's OK Not To Believe

This Wednesday Ngaio Bealum at Luna's

They say pot kills brain cells. Damn, how smart was this guy before?!

It's actually quite ridiculous the level of talent we're getting in this tiny room but hey, word is getting around to the comics that our audiences are great and we're a good Wednesday night workout room.

Best known for hosting High Times comedy events, Ngaio Bealum is an unusually intelligent stand-up whose gut-busting comedy nevertheless reflects a pot lover's perspective of the world. Also a talented rapper/musician, Ngaio Bealum has appeared on "The Sarah Silverman Program" and in the feature film "Nine Months."

With Host Keith Lowell Jensen
Date: Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Time: 8:00pm - 10:00pm
Location: Luna's Cafe
1414 16th Street
Sacramento, CA 95814

$5 Cheap