Couple of Orwell Jokes

Double Plus Good Enough

Who wouldn't want a big brother? 

Hey Gay, You're A-Okay! Gimme a G, Gimme a A, Gimme a Y! YAY GAY!

When I see a two dudes walking through Disneyland holding hands I do the right thing, I leave 'em alone. I just let 'em be gay at Disneyland in peace. But I know that they're being brave, and I know that they get shit, and what I WANT to do is run up to them and say, "Hey! I for one, am totally cool with you being gay! I think it's great! Here, be gay in front of my daughter. I don't mind. I love it. Look honey, see the nice gay guys, aren't they great!"

I know this would be inappropriate and I know it would get tedious having your Magic Kingdom experience interrupted repeatedly so you could help straight dudes address their hetero guilt (Is that a thing? Did I just coin that?) but wouldn't it also be kind of awesome? On some level? Maybe?

Couldn't there be something like what sports fans have? When my brother sees a Dodgers cap or a Rams jersey he comments on it and has this instant almost tribal camaraderie. I guess I just hit on why we liberals love bumper stickers so much, but then we feel guilty for driving. I could wear a rainbow flag t-shirt but that's false advertising and being a tease (cause we all know what I got going on is HOT!) and those "Straight but not narrow t-shirts" just seem a bit too close to saying "I'M NOT GAY! Not that there's anything wrong with that."

So, um, anyway, dudes holding hands at Disneyland, I hope you had a good time, and also you HELLA cut in front of us for Small World. Not cool.

We did in fact get the healthcare.

Lady at HR helping me enroll in insurance plan some years ago: Okay, so that should cover both you and your partner. How long have you and Bryan been together?

Me: Um, that's actually Bryna. My girlfriend's name is Bryna.

Lady: Oh..., I'm sorry. I thought...

Me: Yeah that's fine, I get that a lot. We still get the healthcare right?

Splendor in the grass...

Because sometimes nature is disgusting, and hilarious.

Please, no felafel for Superman!

Walking through San Francisco, maybe my favorite city I've even been to, munching on street vender felafel, definitely my favorite food in the world, and digging the business and music of a street festival on a beautiful day. And then... Much to my amazement I pass a lady, clown, face-painter torturing some poor kid with slam poetry. "You can call me, I am clown You can call me, I am magic You can call me, I am..." The faulty grammar alone was killing me. If I had jumped in right then and grabbed that kid away from her, and delivered him back to his confused and helpless parents, I'd have rightly been called a hero. But I had my hands full of felafel that I was not willing to sacrifice. Maybe things are so rough in the middle east because that's where the felafel is at?

Atheist Christmas / X-Mas of Infamy

December 7th of this year in Sacramento, CA, I'll be recording my 4th album, to come out in 2014 on Stand Up! Records. I hope you can make it. This is way early notice, but I want to really work to build something epic with this one. Updates as they become available. Putting together a team now to make this happen like it ought to happen.
Facebook event page here: https://www.facebook.com/events/259769387502895/?notif_t=plan_user_joined

Rolling Episode IV: The Stache

Resisting

This post is doing really well on Reddit. That's nice. Check it out for yourself: http://redd.it/1az1e7

Sudafed

Wow. This graphic actually reached the number one spot on Reddit.com! Not a Subreddit, but the front page, which is of course "The front page of the internet." So that means I won at internet yeah? I'm excited. Now its being shared on lots of other sites like Cheezeburger.com. Pretty neat. I'm gonna post graphics to Reddit every Monday for awhile. Hopefully some more will hit.

Rolling: The Highs (episode III)