Why Don Geronimo is an Asshole

So Nationally Syndicated, oops wait, not anymore, so local Sacramento DJ Don Geronimo came to see a show where I was the feature on Saturday in Galt. He showed up late, brought friends who talked and texted through the whole show while he kept going outside and smoking. Today he started talking smack about me on the air. When I replied by Twitter he went into overdrive and tried to savage me on his radio show.

I'm a guy with a day job. An amateur comic. I'm really pleased with the progress I've made artistically and career wise in the past year but I still have not shed my amateur standing. I will continue to work hard. I'm really proud of the people even greener than me who I have encouraged and helped. There are of course young comics who haven't impressed me but I wish them the best and I hope they get better just as I hope I get better. Why a guy who is a professional would go after an amateur is beyond me.

He claims he's done stand up but I'd like to see him survive just twenty minutes at Punchline or The Improv on a showcase night with a crowd that isn't made up of his radio fans.

If he's done it he KNOWS how hard it is to do a show in a place like Galt. Nobody is stoked at Galt. The two nights before that gig I was on the bill with Doug Stanhope. Those were dream gigs. Galt was work. But I did my best and despite being way mismatched to the crowd I did great. How do I measure this? The audience response was great. I sold lots of merch which was totally unexpected and the owner had a cigar with me and told me he was getting great feedback on the show. You'd think an experienced comedian would get how tough a gig like that is.

So he's an asshole for talking shit on me to begin with but he's a much bigger asshole for hanging up on me when I called in. I was set to be civil and just to try and prove that I could go toe to toe and keep up. I wanted a fair opportunity to address his attacks and, it would've given him the opportunity to best me and show that he was right. But no, he was a coward, hung up on me and went on talking smack.

He is an asshole and a coward because when face to face with us he accepted our swag, shook our hands and told us he enjoyed us. When called out on this he just insulted said swag, lying and saying my CD was hand made. Have a look on Amazon, it's not. What he didn't do was explain why he was a coward and a liar when actually in our presence.

He is an asshole because he lied again. The venue never listed me as an atheist comedian. I don't perform as an atheist comedian except when hired to do so, when on The Coexist? Comedy Tour or when I'm the headliner. Most headliners don't want the feature doing material as potentially divisive as religion before their set.

He is the biggest asshole though because when he played my clip he inserted cricket noises to make it sound like I wasn't getting huge laughs but he's a stupid asshole because he didn't cut soon enough and you can HEAR that the joke gets a huge laugh. Here's the clip he sampled if you'd like to see for yourself.



He's an asshole and a sellout because he talked mad shit on Good Day Sacramento until they hired him. Wow, there's integrity for you.

So, this has-been on his way down wants to fuck with me on my way up. Cool. I don't start fights and everyone who knows me sees how I try really hard to encourage people and to be positive but this guy is just a prick and I look forward to letting people know it.

Oh, and here is a clip of him with a tore up face because he hasn't even mastered staying on the stage. My WORST nights in comedy haven't left me looking this bad Don, you fucking hack piece of shit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byLkDqT7f_8
You have to hit the link as embed has been disabled.

Want to get involved? http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=158997764155570&id=104940526227961
Unfortunately you have to "Like" his turgid show before you can comment.

Birthday Weekend Craziness

Doug Stanhope and I at Marilyn's, Sacramento

Wednesday my weekly show in Sacramento was lightly attended which happens sometimes and I don't mind. I make a mental note to ramp up promotions and then I enjoy a small intimate audience. I dropped my material and just told stories of accidentally becoming a gangster and of teaching my stoner friends in High School the principle of "nature abhors a vacuum" using a gravity bong. Great times. Kristee Ono and Conrad Roth were our featured comics and they too went with the small crowd vibe and had a great time.

Thursday I headed to The Improv in San Jose to feature for Doug Stanhope. I did my twenty minutes with a couple of generous applause breaks lots of laughs and ended on a huge round of laughs and applause with my now well aged but new to them, knock-knock joke. I sold a great amount of merch, signed autographs and was fawned over much to my ego's delight.

Got to hang out with Stanhope and his too awesome for words girlfriend Bingo at the hotel piano bar while very drunk and very strange fans, including a tabloid class plastic surgery junkie in stilt like stilettos that I'm pretty sure were designed to be displayed and not worn much less walked in, milled about making the evening a bit surreal since we were sitting amongst a bunch of conventioneers while being serenaded by a cheesy, pompadoured jazz crooner.

I spent the night in a suite at The Fairmont feeling quite pampered. Two baths before check out in that deep tub was the high-lite of my stay. Being unable to bring myself to change the channel after stumbling on Girls Gone Wild the TV show the low point.



I drove home, did some work, got a nap, and then headed to Marilyn's on K for the Sacramento show with Doug Stanhope. Crazy audience, birthday girl telling Bingo to fuck off before the show had even started and then splitting before Doug had a chance to slaughter her from on stage, fights in the crowd during the show, more drinks being sent to the stage then Stanhope was able to keep up with, which is ALOT of drinks and again I sold much merch. A guy who bought my CD at the San Jose show bought three more at The Sacramento show because he liked it enough to buy copies for his friends. He paid with a hundred dollar bill and told me to keep that change. That certainly should happen more.

Doug said he had no use for comics who celebrate birthdays. "Every night is our birthday. We go to a bar, drink with friends, are the center of attention." I agreed and told him my birthday wish to my wife was to sleep in and then have a nice breakfast.

I dropped Doug and Bingo off at their hotel. Doug said I was really funny and that Nick Pettigrew who I'd invited to open the show was as well. He said that he'd resisted posting it on his facebook but that if someone should say that he said a certain teenage comic was a cunt he wouldn't deny it.



Marquee at "A Magic Place" in Galt



Saturday, my birthday, Galt with Michael O' Connell and Mark Pitta. The venue is a bouncy house kids place by day with a used book store inside, video games, a photo studio in one corner, magic shows on other nights (and a magician emcee hosting our show.) It's like Galt having nothing inspired one man to give them everything and put it all in one warehouse.

Popular talk radio host Don Geronimo had mentioned the show on air making reference to a paraplegic comic (Michael is not a paraplegic but is in a wheelchair as he has MD) and an atheist comic (which is technically me though I don't do much religious or anti-religious comedy unless I'm booked to or it's a show that I'm headlining). I became very nervous as a lot of skinhead looking guys rolled in carrying cases of beer, well the case that one brand of beer had come in with other brands dumped in it as if they emptied their 'fridge into an old empty box and said "Let's go see some got-dang comedy." I saw two of these guys pointing at me and talking probably saying "I think that's the comedian." or maybe even "That guy looks gay." but I imagined they were saying "That's that atheist we're going to skin, cook and eat." I went on stage made the whole audience laugh with some jokes made the younger half of the audience laugh with most of my jokes and as soon as I got off stage a woman approached me and bought two CDs. I sold a gang more CDs, got picked up on by very curvy young woman who then picked up on Michael and finally went home with the gentleman who'd brought her. Mark had a fantastic set including accepting two Vicodin from an audience member and stopping to ask the strength of them only after swallowing. 500 mg each. Is that a lot. I smoked a nice cigar that Michael had given me for my birthday and had a really polite and funny (laughing with not at) political conversation with someone from a military background and completely different outlook than me which I loved. It was a great night.

My birthday wish came true. Slept late, went to eat at Sugar Plum Vegan with my Bryna and Maxine. Went to the fish store and my wife picked out a new beta and came home to a bath and new comic books. It's going to be a great year. Next week I perform with Joan Rivers.

Holy Shit, I'm opening for Joan Rivers

So, this year was already rockin' in a really big way. I started the new year with a NYE show in LA at The Steve Allen Theatre then flew to New York where Hailey Boyle and I lit up the scene. I come home to a surprise booking featuring for Robin Williams, my buddy Nick Aragon opening.

I knew it would continue rocking for at least a little while as I was booked for two shows with Doug Stanhope, possibly my favorite comedian currently performing
.
Then I get the email, I'm opening for Joan Rivers and it's at The Crest, my favorite venue that I used to dream of performing at when I was a teen and didn't even know yet what manner of performer
I wanted to be, rock star, sensitive political fiction author, comedian, whatever I just wanted to wander across that stage in front of a sold out audience which is exactly the case on March 13th.
Oh, and this Saturday, March 5th is my birthday. Life is good.

What wonderful thing will happen next? I'm hoping I'll stop shitting blood, but whatever, having my album released by a good label would be good too.

Okay, So I Suck at Fundraising

Started a KickStarter page to get the funds needed so we can finish The Coexist? Comedy Tour movie. If you're in the dark, The Coexist? Comedy Tour was a tour made up of a Jew, a Muslim, a Christian, a Hindu, a Budhhist and an atheist comedian, the atheist being your's truly.
I pushed the fundraising for a couple of days, got insecure about it, got distracted by many, many gigs during the month and now... we have just over 2 days left. BUT WE CAN DO IT!
Since I started barking for money again an hour or so ago we've raised over $1,050.00.
Before I go on, here's the link. There's a cool video, have a look see.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/larrybrand/the-coexist-comedy-tour-documentary-film

KickStarter starter works on the idea that LOTS of small donations can allow big things to happen. We've had everything from $5 to $1,000 donations. Most important though is that people not just donate but repost the link, share the video, use Twitter and Facebook, etc. to help us reach the most people.

I REALLY want to see this film happen. I hope you can help THANKS

Generically Hipsterish

I'm thirty eight years old. I've never been embraced by the kids I considered hip kids, not when I was a kid and certainly not now. For the most part I realize that hipster is a relative term but the people it's assigned to tend to be gentle, artistic creative types who may think they're better than you or you may be projecting that because of your own insecurities about bold fashion choices and artistic risk taking. I think of the rednecks telling the hippies to cut their hair or the jocks who'd beat up punks just for looking weird. I've always liked "hipsters" more than I like the people that call them hipsters.

I was very pleased to find out my documentary was being reviewed by The Video Librarian. I'm still quite pleased at the mostly positive review. But I'm surprised, amused and a little disappointed at the reviewer's decision to describe me as "generically hipsterish". It seems journalistically lazy and as I think I illustrated above, inaccurate as well.

The reason I try to find humor while examining a serious subject probably has more to do with me being a comedian then being someone's idea of a hipster. My thinking was that a spoon full of sugar was needed to make the medicine go down. I highly doubt this film would be getting the notice it's getting if it featured a mostly unknown comedian with no budget taking a hard, serious look at panhandlers and the myths that surround them.

Buy my hipsterish DVD here: http://www.amazon.com/Why-Lie-I-Need-Drink/dp/B0040GMPJE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1282836408&sr=8-1

You can read the review here: http://www.videolibrarian.com/othervideo.html#Anchor-30228

IMHO, Best Stand Up Comics Currently Gigging

This is based on their current performances, which almost knocks Katt off as he's been eratic but he's hanging on. If this was a list of the best comedians still gigging based on their peak performances the list would be different. Emo Phillips would be on it for one and some others as well.

Almost in order but I'm struggling with the one and two position.
Doug Stanhope
Louis C.K.
Katt Williams
Maria Bamford
Norm Macdonald
Jim Jeffries

Opened for Robin Williams

Mark Pitta called me on Monday as I walked home from a class I teach.

"Hey Keith, you wanna do a set tomorrow? Robin's going to be there."

Mark Pitta and Friends, every Tuesday at The Throckmorton in Mill Valley, is one of the best nights I've ever had the pleasure to be a part of and Robin Williams is a regular there so I knew right away that this was the Robin he meant.

"Oh, I don't know Mark, let me think... HELL YEAH!" I would've said hell yeah even without Robin being there, like I said, I love the Throckmorton.

I called him back a few minutes later to see if I could get a friend on the guest list as I need to bribe a ride and get my car in the shop. He must've thought I said guest SPOT and he answered, "Yeah, bring some new who can do a solid five."

I knew a guy with a solid five minutes who had definitely done the work to deserve such a spot. I called Nick Aragon and he called his girlfriend Rachel and off we went in her car, me in the back getting horribly carsick.

Robin Williams was already there hanging out when we arrived. We exchanged hellos, I was stoked when he said "Good to see you again." and then a minute later Mort Sahl walked in. Mark showed Sahl a "Comedy" puzzle he'd bought with every comedian you could think of on it, including Sahl and Williams. They all got a big laugh out of Fozzy Bear being on the puzzle as well, right next to Carlin. I thought that was the best part. Fozzy, Robin Williams, Edgar Bergen and the Unknown Comic were my first comedy heroes.

Robin helped Eddie Izzard get a foothold here in the states, and as the subject came up I asked him who the next big thing would be. He answered "Jamie Kilstein" without skipping a beat. Wow. Congrats Jamie. I was hoping he would've said me but he probably would've labelled me the next Eddie Izzard in that tv series about American gypsies where his accent was awful and nobody watched which would of course still have been amazingly flattering.

This pic with Mort Sahl cracked me up. It looks like I snuck up behind them and had someone snap a pic. Robin offered to take it again but Sahl seemed done with the whole affair so I let him be and got one with just Robin.

I, being one of the most liberal people you'll meet had the following exchange with Mort Sahl who was unaware of my political views:
Mort: The liberals are the worst. They've ruined this country.
Me: You think it's ruined?
Mort: (staring at me incredulously) Absolutely!

Nick did a killer opening set. Then I went up and did 20. My first 5 to 7 really killed, then things quieted to a respectable level and I closed strong with a good hearty round of applause on my last joke. I hurried out the backstage door, grabbed Nick and Rachel and headed up the balcony to watch Robin slay 'em in an improv with Mark Pitta and another comic/actor whose name I probably should know.

Reddit-ed

My latest youtube video is getting a pretty strong momentum going and I just got linked on Reddit.com, where I was once described as a "Very gay Will Ferrel with Kermit The Frog's voice."

If you're on Reddit or if you'd be willing to register, please give it an up arrow! THANKS
http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/fgjr4/atheist_stand
up_comedian_keith_lowell_jensen/

5 MORE Myths About Ronald Reagan

I read a great article on 5 of the most pervasive myths about former President Ronald Reagan and decided that in honor of the man's 100th birthday I needed to offer up my personal 5 favorite myths. I hope you'll take the time to read the original well thought out and well reasoned article here: wapo.st/dTMDJ8 after reading my hastily written and completely juvenile response.

5 More Myths About Ronald Reagan

1. He Loved Jelly Beans. This was just a cover up for his delight in eating the hearts of baby horned owls, which can sometimes be said to resemble jelly beans.

2. He Was a Popular Actor in Westerns. No, John Wayne was a popular actor in westerns. Ronald Reagan was covert cheese cake for a society not ready to embrace it's homosexual tendencies but deeply fond of cute cowboys and monkey sidekick hi-jinx.

3. He Had Fabulous Hair. While it is undeniable that the hair was fabulous I'd argue that the hair had Reagan more than vice versa. With apologies to Tom Robins I like to think of Reagan as fabulous hair's invention to transport itself.

4. Reagan was a spokesperson for and on the payroll of such large corporations as General Electric, MCA, Borax, and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. This is is completely bogus. Reagan never worked for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

5. Reagan was a demon, vampire and/or zombie. No, no, nothing so cool as that. He was just a greedy, selfish, xenophobic old man who would sell out even his own self serving ideals to the highest bidder.

New Comedy Video

I didn't want to post any clips from the DVD/CD release Cats Made of Rabbits but I needed to get a new clip up for a festival I am trying to get into so, enjoy. And get ready to trade me your hard, cold cash for some more of this good stuff soon.