Saturday, March 4, 2006

Rapture Letters

http://raptureletters.com/

This is the greatest website ever. Allow me to quote the site:

"After the rapture, there will be a lot of speculation as to why millions of people have just disappeared. Unfortunately, after the rapture, only non believers will be left to come up with answers. You probably have family and friends that you have witnessed to and they just won't listen. After the rapture they probably will, but who will tell them?

We have written a computer program to do just that. It will send an Electronic Message (e-mail) to whomever you want after the rapture has taken place, and you and I have been taken to heaven."

This site goes on to explain how this works, what will trigger the sending of the e-mails etc. I'm in love. I had to help. I sent them the following e-mail immediately:

Hi,
Great idea you got here.
I would like to help.
I am a devout atheist, not only do I not believe in God, but if he should turn out to be real I will choose not to follow/worship or otherwise interact with him based on my disagreements with his management philosophy.
This is where I am of great value to you.
For a small fee, to be paid prior to the rapture of course, I will over see your programs execution, help maintain your servers, etc when you have all gone up to heaven.
I am happy to make available my resume listing my technical qualifications as well as my many sins that you may be assured I will indeed be left behind to complete this important work.

Please consider my offer.
Kindly yours,
Keith Lowell Jensen


I have yet to hear back from them...

6 comments:

Sid said...

KLJ-You may have found the Holy Grail of internet sites! I'm curious, did you add your name to the list of people to recieve the letter after the rapture? Tempting huh? But, I wonder, once you pray the prayer (and believe it with all of your heart of course) will you too disappear?

I think once you get to be webmaster of raptureletters.com you should definitely put "Teenage Jesus" on the home page. This site screams for some nifty art like this.

PS-Happy birthday!

Jason_Alley said...

Dude, you are one diabolical genius. And happy birthday!

Keith Lowell Jensen said...

I'm afraid to add my list. Think about it, couldn't this just be a clever means of gathering a list of nonbelievers? They're coming for us Sid, THEY'RE COMING FOR US!!!

ScottMonster said...

Happy day of Birth! Don't worry, some women find receding hair lines attractive!

big ole 2(4^2 + 1) to you!

Kash said...

You sir are the greatest human being in this or any country.

Goota go, the Rapture is cal

Keith Lowell Jensen said...

Thanks for the birthday wishes and insults.
I had a good birthday, will blog about it later.