Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Success High - Dyslexia

Monday, September 28, 2009

Overheard on Broadway in Sacramento

I'm walking down Broadway to The Comedy Spot for a meeting with owner Brian Crall. I pass a drunk homeless man sitting on a park bench. He says, "I have love for you my man."
I smile and say "Thank you."
He replies "You fuckin' suck."
I guess thank you isn't what he was looking for?

I get to the comedy spot and I'm a bit early so I stand out front for minute. A car is stopped at the traffic light and a girl leans out of her window and says "Hey, I've seen you. You're really funny." She gives me two thumbs up and then the light turns green.
Walking down Broadway is always a good time.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I F*%#ed Her, a Time Travel Joke

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Oh My Goth

Yeah, that's black nail polish. You can see the last remnants of my dyed black hair and the big coat with the collar. I swear I loved the winter then just because the clothes were better. Oh who am I kidding, I love the winter NOW because the clothes are better!!!
Thanks Jeremy for sharing this photo. I'm thinking it's circa 1990 yes?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


I'm an indie comedian. I have an indie comedy album.
What this means, in my case at least though I doubt I'm alone in this, is that the record labels I submitted to turned me down. They took a pass on my album.

There is no shame in that, and I knew that I'd be happy to DIY it but hell, if someone else was going to put up the money and advertise and do this on a bigger scale I wasn't going to tell them not to. In fact I was willing to take the steps necessary to make sure they knew I existed, just in case they didn't want to reject me.

So now I have an indie release and that is a marketing point. I sell it as an indy release by an indie comic. This is sincere though. I really am proud. I'm proud of being rejected or more accurately I'm proud of not letting the rejection stop me. I'm proud of doing it anyway. I will not let some suits or guys conspicuously not wearing suits, guys sporting pony tales, I will not let them be the arbiter of funny. What the hell do they know? My mom thinks I'm funny! So I asked her loan me the money to make the album. (Actually I hit my dad up, but mom sounded funnier.)

The word indie has taken on some other meaning though. It's a genre now based on a certain sound apparently. All of the "indie" bands I see boasted in the hip indie magazine are signed to the indie arm of a major label. They're not indie, they just sound indie? So, they just sound like they'd be rejected? But they weren't? Do their mom's even like their sound?

And I find myself in a position to defend my comedy and it's indie-ness. Um, it's indie because I owe my dad money. See that piece of punctuation at the end of the last sentence? That's a period! Dad doesn't have a pony tale. When someone with a ponytale pays for my album to be pressed and buys me a few lunches to boot, then you can grill me for my indie credentials, for now, screw you, I'm indie.

So anyway, please, go to one of these large corporate websites and buy my indy CD or take me out to coffee and I'll sell you one cheaper.



Monday, September 14, 2009

Little Brother Married

I went to So Cal this weekend and watched my little brother James and his lovely girlfriend, now wife, Katy get hitched.
The lakeside gazebo where they tied the knot doesn't take reservations, it's catch as catch can so James dropped me there early to hold the spot. I sat there drinking espresso and watching the ducks and a crane and even a turtle do their thing in the lake and the joggers do theirs up on the path. It was really nice. Then everyone showed up, our older brother John did a great job officiating, then back to James and Katy's place for grub and toasts.
On my way home my cell phone received this photo of the newlyweds at Disneyland. Congrats to them both and welcome to the family to Katy and Jack-Jack, her awesome little boy who I'm stoked to call nephew even if he calls me Jack-Jack and insists that his name is Dylan.

He's Jack-Jack.

I'll Try

I don't want to be a comedian today. At the moment I'd much rather be a poet. I don't know how to write a joke about how ridiculously happy I get seeing the first orange leaves of the season as I make my way home from LA and how that happiness is prolonged by waking up this morning to find it rained over night leaving everything bright and clean.
I don't know how to make jokes full of love and excitement and sweet, nostalgic sorrow for every past moment.
But a comedian is what I am, so I'll try...

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Atheist Church 9-6-2009 Satan's Receptionist

I finally figure out why The Jonas Brothers, Carlos Mencia, Larry The Cable Guy etc. are famous and I'm not...

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Tom Rhodes, Punch Line

Working with Tom Rhodes has been fun. It is work more so than other gigs I've had. Three shows so far, three to go, and at every show I do my 15 minutes and then I'm there through-out to do announcements and emcee, right up until I close the show. Don't get me wrong, I love it. As work goes it sure beats digging ditches. I would love to do more of this kind of work and of course that is my plan.
The feature is Barry Weintraub from New York. He is a very political comic and a really nice guy. In a strange coincidence, he is staying with his friend Charlie Weiss while he is in town. Charlie's son Aaron and I were in a band together called The Ugly Sticks.
I'll try and get a picture to put up. Rhodes is a blast and I love his voice and his half singing/ half cartoon character delivery. For now, I'm off to the club...