Thursday, March 24, 2011

My Huge Ego

In the wake of the ridiculous feud I let myself get caught up in with a local radio jock, I was informed that I have a huge ego.
Hmmmm? Do I? It must take a pretty big ego to do stand up. To say, "I think I deserve to have my voice amplified, to have lights on me, and for you all to sit in the dark and listen, and to pay for the privilege of doing so."

So I guess I must have a pretty big ego then. I consider ego problems to come from not how you regard yourself but how you regard yourself in relation to others. Fact is I'm humbled by many of my comedy peers and more so by my comedy heroes. I've been humble when face to face with said heroes, like Doug Stanhope, Robin Williams, Bob Newhart and I've had to work to be confident when interacting with industry people, many of whom I've become friends with. In this situations its never been an issue of having to tone down my ego, always a matter of trying to ramp it up.

Ego gets talked about a-lot. I wish you all a good healthy ego. I don't think ego is a bad thing. Maybe that's an atheist angle. The bible is full of calls to be humble and to grovel, etc. It seems that in this age when democracy and self rule is championed a strong ego would be valued. So yeah, I do love myself but the good news is, I love you too. I may not like you, but I love you. And coming from me, that's valuable because I'm hot shit, the cat's meow, etc. et al.

6 comments:

SFMama said...

Psychologically speaking ego is not a bad thing (so it's not just an atheist thing, you ego maniac. ;>) If you have a thing for Freud, it's the super ego and the Id that can cause problems. Just don't start talking about yourself in the third person.

eMerly said...

Sacramento can be pretty harsh on people who achieve some success. It makes it that much harder to put yourself out there and admit you are trying to do something big, when people are so quick to bash your abilities and mock your dreams. And Sacramento is small enough that when that happens, it can feel really personal.

You have worked your ass off and I think you will only continue to find bigger and better opportunities coming your way. You have a solid base of fans and other artists and that is much more important for your future than some bloated old radio guy who can't find anything more interesting to talk about that you. You must be on your way up if a formerly successful comedian is feeling threatened by you.

KLJ said...

SF Mama, KLJ talk about himself in the 3rd person? Never!

Em,
Yeah. I watched as John McCrea gained success with Cake and Sacramento started buzzing with nasty rumors and comments about his huge ego so I guess this is a good sign. I consider him a huge success, artistically and commercially.

ericfate said...

To be fair, McCrea was a difficult person to engage with to even before the success.

I've had good encounters with him, and I've had bad encounters with him. Mostly bad, but I still appreciate the end result if his egotism.

If I put on a Cake album, I don't think about him as a person, I just think about the place in my life where I was when I first heard the songs. That will last longer than any ill will I might have once felt.

I think the key is having ego without self-delusion.

KLJ said...

My wife and I both worked with him at Greta's. I'm sure that like most humans he can be difficult to get along with but I always found him to be a quirky but sincere and compassionate person and a brilliant artist.

Jeff M. said...

J-J Rousseau made a useful distinction between amour de soi and amour-propre. The former might be thought of as animal egoism. It is a wholly selfish love in that it is not dependent on how others view you. Amour-propre, on the other hand, is the self-respect you feel when you know that others admire you.

Creative types, I regret to say, are doomed to chase after amour-propre, which Rousseau thought was a wellspring of misery and dissatisfaction.

I suppose one could express one's creativity solely for oneself and one's "Tumblr friends," but I have no respect for these people. I am wedded to the idea of the artist as hero.