How to debate internet style

It's time that someone mapped this out. Enjoy.

When you state your opinion be sure to make it clear that all other opinions are bullshit. It's even better when you call anyone that would hold these other, idiotic opinions an idiot (you may substitute your insult of choice for idiot. Be creative.) It works for Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Wally George and it can work for you.

Use MANY words to state your point, but be clear that it's effortless to you. Make it clear that brilliance just pours from your fingerprints and that, while your words are gospel, the exchange of words on something as meaningless as a blog, facebook, twitter, is of no importance to you whatsoever. We're fortunate you're troubling yourself to share it.

The internet is not a place for serious discussion. Engage in exchanges but then make it clear that anyone who expects normal rules of discussion to apply doesn't understand the internet which has apparently, at some point, been deemed unfit for anything other than supplying our porn, handling our finances and pretending to have a bigger impact on society than any other innovation in the last century.

Announce yourself the victor in any debate. Nothing marks the winner quite so clearly. The winner is always the guy saying, "I'm the winner."

That's all for now, I'm the winner.