Sunshine

Sunshine, beautiful blue skies, totally unexpected. The weather report said rain through next Tuesday. This is a wonderful and needed surprise. Went for a walk on my lunch break and will try to squeeze in some skating tonight. I'm taking Antonio to Skate Camp tommorow since I have a half day at work and I'll definately get some skating in then.

Pony, a short comedy film

Below are links to Pony, in three parts. This is a skit that ICBINC performed at our sold out show at The Crest Theatre. The skits not that long, but we decided to cut it up into three parts for quicker downloading and to make streaming possible. Just click on the link, it should open in windows media player, or whatever your default player is, and then come back to hit the next link when you're ready. Or right click on each link and save it to your hard drive.
This is one of my favorite of our skits.

PONY Part One

PONY Part Two

PONY Part Three

More videos HERE and HERE.

Thank You For Smoking - Film Review

Reviewed by Jason. More reviews at his site, HERE!

THANK YOU FOR SMOKING ***1/2
Sharp, quick-witted satire about a tobacco lobbyist named Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckhart), whose job is to do spin work for the tobacco industry and do his best to convince the public that smoking is a good thing. Nick is a bullshitter of the highest order, so good at his job that in the opening scene (as a guest on a talk show), he manages to convince a teenager with cancer that the tobacco industry is on his side. Like all the best satires, "Thank You For Smoking" doesn't let either side off the hook, and as someone who thoroughly disapproves of smoking but also hates the lame, fake "edginess" of those "Truth" anti-smoking PSA's, I highly appreciate that. Speaking of PSA's, if the makers of this film missed one opportunity, it was the chance to parody stupid, over-the-top PSA's (like "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle" did so excellently).

Eckhart is nothing short of amazing in the lead role, playing the role he was born to play. Nick can be a slimeball, no doubt about it, but there's also no denying that some of his arguments have a seductive logic, and he comes across as far more honest and likeable than, for instance, the sanctimonious environmentalist Senator played by William H. Macy. The awesome cast also includes Robert Duvall, J.K Simmons, Rob Lowe, Kim Dickens, Todd Louiso, and Katie Holmes (showing the kind of verve she regularly displayed before she was abducted by Scientologists and replaced by a pod person). Best of all (besides Eckhart), are Maria Bello as an alcohol lobbyist and David Koechner as a firearms lobbyist. They are Nick's only friends, and the three of them meet weekly for lunch, calling themselves (half self-deprecatingly, half proudly) the M.O.D. (Merchants Of Death) Squad. If you ask me, they both deserve their own spin-off films.

Lots of movies get called "subversive" and many of them actually aren't. This movie gets you to really, truly like and root for a guy who says at one point that if his 12 year-old son wanted to smoke, he would buy him his first pack on his 18th birthday. Now that's subversive.

A post about pooing

So, if you don't want to read about pooing, just move on.

I'm feeling much better. As I'd mentioned before my cold triggered my Ulcerative Colitis, or something did at any rate and suddenly I was spending all my time in the bathroom poopin' soup. Sorry to be crass but how does one gracefully describe Niagra Falls coming out their ass. I was eating mostly nothing so it was amazing how much kept coming out of me. Where the hell was it coming from. The worst part is the blood. Since developing symptoms of U.C. I've had to engage in the lovely habbit of looking when I wipe and looking before I flush, and now that looking was letting me know that my colon was bleeding again.

By day two I was rushing to the bathroom and finding that I was indeed empty. It felt much like dry heaves as my colon tried to expel what apparently was not there. It hurt and it exhausted me. The drug that I take for this condition, amusingly called asacol, is coated in a hard shell meant to not disolve until reaching the colon. I started noticing whole pills in the toilet. It was skipping right through me. How could it disolve in my colon when nothing would stay in my colon. The doctor prescribed the same medicine in enema form. My colon wouldn't hold onto it, no matter how it got there.

I decided to try this whole foods approach from a book I got written by some flakey foont. I figured it was worth a go, what did I have to lose? So bananas and pears became my breakfast and steamed vegetables my dinner. At first it was nice. I appreciated the subtle flavors of these foods with no sauce, garlic, salt or anything else to distract from their natural flavors. That lasted through one meal. by day two I was thoroughly sick of it all. I never wanted to see another vegetable.

I had an accupuncture appointment but it offered no relief.

I was running out of alternative therapies to try and this needed to stop. I did not, and do not want to go on the 6MP drug that is at the bottom of my list of treatments. Harsh pharmaceuticals are not my thing, but something had to be done and soon. I couldn't go on like this.

Depressed, frustrated, angry and desperate I finally gave in and paid the $70 for a ten day supply of a probiotic called VSL#3. I'd been trying to get my insurance to cover it and after a snotty operator informed me that her supervisor wouldn't do anything for me (Never tell me what your supervisor will do. I want to hear it from the supervisor. That's why I asked for them.) the supervisor was very helpful and assisted me in filing an appeal for coverage. It would be some time until I got the results. For now I marched down to Safeway and had their pharmacist order me the VSL#3.

It seems to be working miracles. I was almost instantly feeling better. Of course it could be the diet starting to work but I don't think so. I'm staying to the diet for a while though, to be on the safe side. Yech.

I had my first solid poo in days on Friday. I was at work so I told my boss about it and got a high five. I had some explosive movements later the same day but nothing like before. Since then I've seen a little blood and I've had monstrous flatulence but things are definately improving. And the asacol pills now have time to disolve so the medicine is being allowed to do its job as well. In a few months, or maybe a year I'll decide if the VSL#3 is the miracle worker that it seems to be. For now I'm happy to be makin' logs and feeling better.

Update December 3, 06: The VSL 3 didn't continue to work for me. It may for you, it's worth trying. My doctor doesn't understand what makes it worth any more than a really good strong probiotic from the healthfood store. I don't know. I suspect that mold in my apartment is complicating my condition, so I will try all theses "remedies" again after I find a new place to live.

I'M SO DAMN HUNGRY. I WANT GARLIC FRIES AND PIZZA AND OTHER YUMMY THINGS THAT MAKE COLONS CRY! ! !

RetroCrush Favorites

So, as promised, I will do my part in celebrating five years of RetroCrush.com by listing some of my favorite articles. But first I'll list some done by me! HOMO was an article that Robert was stoked on, but he couldn't get anyone to link it, lest they be the homo. Fetish Glossary was a silly bit of nothing I threw together, and Classic Porn Showcase was awfully fun to research.
My pal Francois Fly got an interview with my comedy hero, The Unknown Comic.

Now the hard part. (I said porn and hard part in the same post. This will get some interesting google results.) It's not easy to pick my favorites amongst the TONS of mediocre crap that Robert puts out there for us to sift through, but here's what I've come up with.

I Was A Black Poet. DAMN, this is a hillariou prank. And Robert was ballsy to do it. Many who don't know him were bound to yell racist thinking he's making fun of blacks. Of course it would actually be more racist of him to exclude any one race from his scathing satire, yes? He saw a target in the form of this way over the top poetry rag and he shot a bullseye.

No Eyelid Man. This one had me wishing Robert would do more comics. Then he did, and I learned the meaning of the phrase "Be careful what you wish for."

Robert's insane family and his total lack of shame in exploiting them has given us several great articles, including, A House Scarier Than Ammityville and the beautiful and tender Masterbating Pipecleaner Man.

Welcome Back Otter. How could I not love this one? Robert pays homage to Otter Pops and gives us tons of great photos of my fashion hero best pal Amber Kloss. Be sure to scroll all the way down on this one to see Robert's concern for real life Otters. He amazed (and maybe disappointed) me by writing the whole paragraph with no sarcasm or crass otter humpin' jokes.

It was pretty interesting watching Robert deal with a U.K. Tabloid stealing his writing. The article went out on the wire and suddenly Robert's material is appearing in major papers around the world, credited to someone else!

I decided to focus on Robert's articles, but RetroRandy turns in some awesome retro-celeb interviews and when him and Robert get together to review old home decorating mags, well, they just shouldn't be allowed to play with each other.

There's plenty more to enjoy. Really, you could lose hours perusing the archives and that's before checking out Robert's excellent podcast. Congratulations on five years RetroCrush.com. Here's to five more.

Happy Birthday RetroCrush

Retrocrush.com, one of my favorite sites turns five years old today.
Retrocrush's Robert Berry is a good friend and he's done some great things with the site, mostly featuring my writing. That's always a good move. I'm back at work, so later, when I have more goof off time I'll post links to some of my favorite RetroCrush.com articles.

I'm feeling quite a bit better. I try not to get too excited, because I've been dissappointed before, but this probiotic is maybe doing the trick. Oh God I hope so. Anyway, I started it yesterday and I've had a pretty good morning so far, so cross your fingers, or think good thougts or light a candle or light yourself or whatever you do. May the great colon gods bless me.

I'm In Hell

Oh My GAWD! I got that awful cold that's been going around and it triggered my stomach problems. For four days I've not dared venture far from a toilet. I'm quickly exhausing my list of alternative therapies, including a special whole foods mostly raw diet that I'm currently on, accupuncture and I just started a regiment of uber strong probiotics today. Wish me luck. If I can't get it under control this way I'm going to have to look at taking an immune suppressing drug that I am desperate to avoid.

I know it's not all that cheerful or exciting to blog about my unhappy colon but it's what's happening in my life at the moment. I've watched lots of movies while ill. Maybe later I'll write about some of them, and I'm still going to write about the three raw restaurants I've recently eaten at. Yeah. Soon. Okay bye.

Two DVD Reviews

Jason has pledged to stop watching EVERY movie that comes out. This is sad news, as I was really looking forward to his review of Larry The Cable Guy:Health Inspector. Guess I'll have to suffer through that one on my own, or shoot myself. I haven't decided which yet. I'll let you know. In the meanwhile here's two DVD reviews. And visit Jason at his site.

DIG! ***1/2
Surprisingly absorbing and powerful documentary about the turbulent seven year love/hate friendship/rivalry between The Brian Jonestown Massacre and The Dandy Warhols, two underground indie rock bands who almost "made it" but never quite did. I say "surprisingly" because I'm not even a huge fan of either of these bands - but ambition, triumph, conflict and failure are inherently interesting, especially when part of a film this entertaining and well-made that involves people this memorable. The two bands began as friends and peers (both 60's rock revivalists trying to channel bands like the Beatles and Love), but were already quite different. The Dandy Warhols liked to party but were also relatively "together" and distinctly style-conscious and business-minded as soon as record companies starting sniffing around. The Brian Jonestown Massacre, led by a cranky, highly volatile mad genius/junkie named Anton Newcombe, were more interesting artistically, but with Newcombe fronting the band they were a complete mess. "Dig!" is a remarkably intimate chronicle of the seven years during which both bands get signed (The Dandies first) and both are touted by the press as The Next Big Thing and then aren't, gradually becoming bitter enemies (or, rather, it becomes Anton Newcombe Vs. Everyone On Earth more than anything else). Fast paced and always interesting (drugs! parties! fistfights! tambourines!), as well as a nifty study of what it's like in the world of rock n' roll when you're on the lower rungs of the ladder, trying to work your way up.


THE CORPORATION ****
Lots of documentaries aim to outrage. This one actually does. A staggering, overwhelming film about the way corporations have invaded practically every aspect of our daily lives (and one day perhaps our lives themselves), sacrificing everything to chase the Almighty Dollar, it's easily one of the best documentaries I've ever seen. Starting right at the beginning, when corporations first came into existence (only about 150 years ago), and ending with a look into a future which will depend on the choices that we and the corporations are making right now, "The Corporation" is disturbing, riveting, and eye-opening stuff (your jaw will hit the floor in disbelief more than once). It's lengthy for a documentary (almost 2 1/2 hours), but unlike most documentaries (which start to feel long around the 2 hour mark), "The Corporation" actually seems too short! The sheer wealth of information it covers and the constant stream of food-for-thought that it gives you is smoothly and stylishly edited and presented, so that it never loses your attention even for a second. Truly a must see, for everyone.

Still Sick

But not dead yet, so thats good news.

So sick

I haven't blogged in a few days because I'm sick as can be. My cold has triggered a flare of my U.C. which was just starting to go back into remission after three months on steroids, unable to get off of them.
This sucks. I can't even leave the house for fear of getting to far from the toilet. Aint that pretty.
I hope I feel better tomorrow because I'm going to work wheather I do or not.
Damn!