New Posts This Weekend

Sorry so slow on posting. I've been working on www.SactoFly.com a-lot and also a super secret project that I'll reveal a little bit of soon, it's pretty crazy.
I will post pictures of my latest skate board related road rash this weekend. Woo hoo.
I'm able to ollie over parking curbs, other skate boards and various kinds of roadkill now. One small step for me, one insignifigent happening in the overwhelming history of the universe.

The Fly Guide Returns!

My pal Francois Fly started The Fly Guide, but then he went to Hollywood to sleep in a higher class of dumpster.
We convinced him to do the guide again by agreeing to do all the work for him.
So, check out www.SactoFly.com to sign up for this weekly e-mail of all that's good to do in Sactown for people with good taste.
I will now be posting Jason Ally's film reviews there instead of here, but maybe sometimes at both places and you can always find them at Jason's site; http://www.xanga.com/jason_alley.
Please sign up, leave comments, post your own events, and tell your friends. We have close to 400 subscribers at the present time and look forward to this being a powerful vehicle for indy music, art, comedy, film and poetry types to spread the word about what they're doing. Thanks.

Me and You and Everyone We Know

This is the most perfect movie since Sideways. Funny, awkward and at times poetic. I was laughing out loud at bizarre beautiful scenes that would not translate so I'll not even try to describe them. The movie if full of uncomfortable moments, but not in a trying too hard sort of way and the film never goes of the deep end into gross-ville. It's only as disquieting as most of our actual lives are prone to be at least once in awhile. Yes, this is perhaps the most vague film review of all time. Ah the pleasures of The Blog! I can get away with murder. What I really want to say is just, check out this unique, beautiful film. You'll be glad you did. Oh, and I'd also like to say:

))<>((
Forever

Why lie... I need a pie!

New post at whylieineedadrink.com.
It seems I'm inspiring others to panhandle now. Please forgive me for what I have unleashed upon the world.
Read the story here.

Mexican Fly Porn?

Somebody found my site after google searching for Mexican Fly Porn. Rad.
Check it out here!

Punching Disabled Homeless Kids for Fun and Profit

New story on my fight story blog. Click HERE!

RockAss.net's Greatest Hits

My favorite and the most popular RockAss.net posts-
The links on the right, which take you to my stories, my panhandling blog, etc. are the meat of this site. Go there. (If you don't see the links I mentioned, go HERE!)
But I do put misfit articles here, mixed in with my daily diary type stuff. Here's a guide to my favorite of these posts. Enjoy.

My Videos: Lots, more added all the time.
OR, My YouTube Page: Includes my videos and my favorite videos.

Francois Fly Photoshop Contest: Amazing how much work you can get people to do for a measley $20 prize.

Live Links and North Korea: Google News and Late Night TV news collide with sexy singles and a low credit card limit. The North Korean missile crisis fits in there somewhere as well, and a talking duck too.

Nascar Drive Thru: A cockeyed.com prank that I was swindled into helping with.

Why KLJ Rocks Ass: A silly but quite popular parody of the Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer lists.

Rapture Letters: Just a link to a website I liked, but I wrote them a letter and folks seemed to find it pretty funny.

Footprints In The Sand: Probably the most popular thing I've done.

The Birth of Francois Fly: I'm most proud to host this. Underground comedy legend Francois Fly caught on tape at his first performance EVER!

Atheism: Hit or miss, but a few gems hidden in there.

Bob Newhart Interview: Yup, I interviewed comedy legend Bob Newhart.

Richard Pryor RIP: Saying goodbye to a legend.

Homo: A comedic look at Homophobia.

Porno: I review some pornorific flicks.

Shtick: Some bits from my stage act. Mostly pretty dorky.

Hipster Jokes I heard

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: (Snootily) You mean you don't know?

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Dude, the light bulb was cooler before it changed.

Thanks Nick, and Niki

The Flaming Lips; At War With The Mystics

“The W.A.N.D.,” a single teasingly released over a month in advance of the Lips’ first full album since 2002, signals the new album’s direction; it adds ’70s-style vocals and crunchy guitar riffs to the band’s signature mix of ambient sounds and digital-effects wizardry. At War with the Mystics matches sounds borrowed from a wide variety of rock sources--prog, Sly Stone, Sabbath and Zappa--with wild arrangements and heartbreakingly earnest vocals. Wayne Coyne allows a bit of political anger into his lyrics but in a weird, introspective and variously interpretable way. It’s a third success in a three-album winning streak. A downloadable online version of Mystics features several extra tracks, including a brilliantly executed cover of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Now that’s ambition

Read more of my News and Review articles here.

The Best Butt Rock Comp Ever

I just put together a comp of really good hair rock/butt rock.

Aerosmith- Toys In The Attic, Walk This Way, Sweet Emotion
Ozzy Ozourne- I Don't Know, Goodby To Romance, Suicide Solution
Kiss- Christine Sixteen, Detroit Rock City
Quiet Riot- Cum on Feel, Bang Your Head,
Alice Cooper- Eighteen, Welcome To My Nightmare, Is It My Body, I Love The Dead, Elected
Motley Crue- Shout at The Devil, Too Young To Fall In Love
Ratt- Round and Round
Twisted Sister- We're Not Gonna Take It, I Wanna Rock, Burn in Hell
Guns and Roses- Welcome To The Jungle, It's So Easy
The Stooges- Now I wanna Be Your Dog
The New York Dolls- Personality Crisis, Trash, Frankenstein
T. Rex- 20th Century Boy, Life's A Gas
Billy Squire- My Kind of Lover, In The Dark, The Stroke
Ted Nugent- Cat Scratch Fever
Cheap Trick- Surrender, I Want You To Want Me
Rush- Tom Sawyer
Judas Priest- You've Got Another Thing Coming, Breakin' The Law
Motor Head- Ace of Spades, Eat The Rich

I know I stretch the definition in places, and I'm sure I left off some bands that you would have included, but Def Leopard, Cinderella, Warrant, Bon Jovi, they just don't do if for me. I call them power ballad butt rock.