Charlie finds out his best buddy Dean and his girlfriend have been having an affair. She has been going to see said friend at a local comedy clubs open mic night, then having sex with him in his van in the parking lot. Charlie is despondent. He considers suicide. Decides to do it in the van, so they find him. Puts a blade to his wrists, figuring that'll do a job on the upholstery. He can't go through with it. He's about to leave the van when Dean comes back.
Dean assumes he was waiting to attack him. Dean explains that she wanted to dump Charlie for him. Dean said "No way. He was just in it for the pussy. He doesn't need some "Crazy bitch" hanging on. Especially one who couldn't suck a dick worth a damn anyway. Charlie loses his temper, Dean loses lots of blood and then his ability to be alive. Dean pulls him into the van. In a daze he heads into the club, hiding his blood soaked hands. He washes up in the bathroom and comes out to see his girlfriend in the front row looking angry. The emcee calls for Charlie. Girlfriend looks about, annoyed. Emcee repeats Charlie's name. Emcee is about to go on when Dean speaks up, "Can I go up in his place." Emcee introduces Charlie.
"Sorry, I.. I haven't um, done this.... "
Heckler, "You suck!"
Charlie, "You know I could fucking kill you. I just killed Dean, thats why I'm here. I don't know that double homicide would put me in any worse a place than just regular old homicide. And really, killing a fat, stupid, drunk heckler is pretty excusable. Everyone knows you deserve it so, that might actually strengthen my argument that Dean deserved it to." the crowd cheers.
Charlie starts telling jokes about his recent suicide note "You can my records but, I'm taking all my pills. Toodles." and other dark subject matter. Has a decent set.
Charlie goes on the road. Kills a heckler, an asshole club owner, an abusive road comic who treats female fans like shit. All the while getting better and better at stand up, doing mostly dark material.
A cop is connecting the dots and starting to close in on Charlie.
End, cop is crossing golden gate bridge, finds Charlies car, finds a suicide note. Looks into the bay. Calls it in.
A comic built a lot like charlie is performing at a small roadside bar with strainers on his head, pretending to be a fly. A woman is heckling him hard. Zoom in on Fly's face...
Showing posts with label Movie Pitch Monday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Movie Pitch Monday. Show all posts
Monday, March 4, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
Movie Pitch Monday: The Mustache
Frank Combs is a driver safety trainer in a small town. He is a bit obsessive about driver safety, hence passionate about and good at his job. The kids like him, but he doesn't always get their respect.
The small town's one claim to fame is a serial killer who terrorized the town and neighboring towns in the seventies. Frank is often said to resemble this killer. The killer however wore a big, beautiful, seventies porn 'stache on his upper lip.
Halloween is coming. Frank is very excited about his costume. He is growing a beard for it. No one is able to guess who Frank is going to be at the school's big Halloween dance. The night of the dance, Frank shaves the beard, leaving just the 'stache, puts on some 70s style duds, grabs an axe and walks into the dance as "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Alice Cooper blasts over the sound system. At first kids move away from him, genuinely frightened. Then he gets a slow clap, round of applause. His cool fades and the shy, awkward guy comes back. He's getting much positive feedback.
Later in the night, someone spikes the punch at the dance. The non-drinking Mr. Combs is accidentally intoxicated. He decides to walk home.
On the way home, after puking in front of a yogurt shop full of kids, still carrying his axe, he comes across some "cool kids" who are getting ready to drive off, obviously drunk. He tries to stop them, being lighthearted at first but things heat up pretty quickly. The kids are tossing the keys around, playing keep away, and as he climbs into their huge SUV to get the keys, they jump in around him, grabbing the real keys from the visor, and taking off. He tells them to stop but they don't listen. He puts on his seat belt. Nobody else does. They're going faster and faster to scare their teacher. He takes his axe, reaches the steering wheel with it and intentionally pulls, steering the car off the road where it hits a tree. Everyone in the car dies but Mr. Combs, who comes out mostly unscathed.
Combs walks home, takes a shower. Is visibly shaken. He shaves his mustache off before falling asleep in front of the tv. When he wakes up the news is reporting the accident and its being dismissed as just that, a drunk driving accident where all involved perished. He is relieved, makes his way to the bathroom, grabs aspirin and downs it, shuts the medicine cabinet door and is surprised to see the mustache still on his face.
He mutters that he thought he'd shaved it. He shaves it. He goes out about his Saturday.
At the shopping mall Combs is greeted by, "Great 'stache!" and "Oh god, I thought you were gonna shave that thing." He joins the grieving for the kids that died, much of which is silly and maudlin. He goes home and shaves his 'stache off again. Towels lip dry, as he lowers towel, 'stache is back.
Combs continues trying to lose the 'stache but it won't go away. He gives up. He goes about his life. Things seem normal except that now he is increasingly enraged when he sees unsafe driving and he sees it EVERYWHERE, until, finally... he snaps. Combs starts killing kids for not driving safely, always making it look like they died from unsafe driving practices. Comedic high point when he is getting very upset at a kid playing with Hot Wheels in the park, and steering the Hot Wheels recklessly. The kids mother saves his life when she scoops him up and gives Combs a dirty look. The kid sticks his tongue at Combs who does a finger across the throat threat back at him.
Climactic scene when Combs gives up on the entire Senior class, hi-jacks the class trip bus, and goes on a rampage on the freeway. He runs people off the road who try to pass on the right, slams on the breaks when tailgated and teaches class all the while telling the kids how to drive safely. The one misfit kid who always treated the teacher good gets his trust, gets him to pull over, and then grabs him, and throws him out of the bus into traffic where he is killed.
At the end of the movie misfit kid and a female friend are putting flowers on Combs' tombstone. She touches his upper lip and says "Are you growing a mustache?" Misfit answers, "No!" somewhat incredulously. They get in her car and he notices her rearview mirror is broke. "You shouldn't be driving with that like that." She laughs it off. He looks in the passenger side mirror and sees a mustache on his face. He is confused. The car drives off into the sunset.
The small town's one claim to fame is a serial killer who terrorized the town and neighboring towns in the seventies. Frank is often said to resemble this killer. The killer however wore a big, beautiful, seventies porn 'stache on his upper lip.
Halloween is coming. Frank is very excited about his costume. He is growing a beard for it. No one is able to guess who Frank is going to be at the school's big Halloween dance. The night of the dance, Frank shaves the beard, leaving just the 'stache, puts on some 70s style duds, grabs an axe and walks into the dance as "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Alice Cooper blasts over the sound system. At first kids move away from him, genuinely frightened. Then he gets a slow clap, round of applause. His cool fades and the shy, awkward guy comes back. He's getting much positive feedback.
Later in the night, someone spikes the punch at the dance. The non-drinking Mr. Combs is accidentally intoxicated. He decides to walk home.
On the way home, after puking in front of a yogurt shop full of kids, still carrying his axe, he comes across some "cool kids" who are getting ready to drive off, obviously drunk. He tries to stop them, being lighthearted at first but things heat up pretty quickly. The kids are tossing the keys around, playing keep away, and as he climbs into their huge SUV to get the keys, they jump in around him, grabbing the real keys from the visor, and taking off. He tells them to stop but they don't listen. He puts on his seat belt. Nobody else does. They're going faster and faster to scare their teacher. He takes his axe, reaches the steering wheel with it and intentionally pulls, steering the car off the road where it hits a tree. Everyone in the car dies but Mr. Combs, who comes out mostly unscathed.
Combs walks home, takes a shower. Is visibly shaken. He shaves his mustache off before falling asleep in front of the tv. When he wakes up the news is reporting the accident and its being dismissed as just that, a drunk driving accident where all involved perished. He is relieved, makes his way to the bathroom, grabs aspirin and downs it, shuts the medicine cabinet door and is surprised to see the mustache still on his face.
He mutters that he thought he'd shaved it. He shaves it. He goes out about his Saturday.
At the shopping mall Combs is greeted by, "Great 'stache!" and "Oh god, I thought you were gonna shave that thing." He joins the grieving for the kids that died, much of which is silly and maudlin. He goes home and shaves his 'stache off again. Towels lip dry, as he lowers towel, 'stache is back.
Combs continues trying to lose the 'stache but it won't go away. He gives up. He goes about his life. Things seem normal except that now he is increasingly enraged when he sees unsafe driving and he sees it EVERYWHERE, until, finally... he snaps. Combs starts killing kids for not driving safely, always making it look like they died from unsafe driving practices. Comedic high point when he is getting very upset at a kid playing with Hot Wheels in the park, and steering the Hot Wheels recklessly. The kids mother saves his life when she scoops him up and gives Combs a dirty look. The kid sticks his tongue at Combs who does a finger across the throat threat back at him.
Climactic scene when Combs gives up on the entire Senior class, hi-jacks the class trip bus, and goes on a rampage on the freeway. He runs people off the road who try to pass on the right, slams on the breaks when tailgated and teaches class all the while telling the kids how to drive safely. The one misfit kid who always treated the teacher good gets his trust, gets him to pull over, and then grabs him, and throws him out of the bus into traffic where he is killed.
At the end of the movie misfit kid and a female friend are putting flowers on Combs' tombstone. She touches his upper lip and says "Are you growing a mustache?" Misfit answers, "No!" somewhat incredulously. They get in her car and he notices her rearview mirror is broke. "You shouldn't be driving with that like that." She laughs it off. He looks in the passenger side mirror and sees a mustache on his face. He is confused. The car drives off into the sunset.
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