Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Y Tu Mama Tambien!

So... tonight was... um... fun.

I get onstage and I'm in the middle of my first joke and a woman starts talking to a man at the table next to her, but she is on the opposite side of her table, so she's yelling and just the audacity of it, to start yelling to some guy in the middle of a comic's set, it floors me and so I say, "Hey shut up." Not a great heckler put down, but then again she was not a great heckler.

Well she is livid, just appalled that I'd be so rude as to tell her to shut up when she's trying to have a conversation. She glares at me during the rest of my set, which does very well, I was really pleased with how some newer somewhat personal material went over.

I get to my last joke, a light pun that I want to close with and now she has gotten up and is talking to the dude again over in another part of the cafe, loudly.

I say, "Excuse me. Are you really still talking?"

She is oblivious to having become a part of the show again, does not realize I'm talking to her at all but as I get louder she has to lean in and put her hand over her ear to hear the dude she's talking to. And with that, I'm off.

"I'm sorry, is it too LOUD IN HERE? IS IT HARD TO HEAR? IS THE COMEDY SHOW TOO LOUD MAKING IT HARD TO HEAR EACH OTHER OVER THE COMEDIANS?"

Here is where it gets complicated. Her daughter works there. She was behaving this poorly while hanging out in red skinny jeans at her daughter's work. And her daughter yells at me, "SHUT UP!"

I keep going, I'm on a role, I used to work for Spike and Mike and haven't had a need/chance to flex these muscles in awhile. "YOU WANT ME TO SHUT UP? THE GUY WHO THEY GAVE THE MICROPHONE TO? THE GUY PLUGGED INTO THE SOUND SYSTEM, WITH ALL THE SEATS FACING HIM, STANDING ON A STAGE WITH STAGE LIGHTS AT A SHOW WITH HIS NAME ATTACHED THAT THESE FOLKS PAID TO SEE, HE IS THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO SHUT UP?"

Mom kept calling me an asshole as they huffed down the hallway. Each asshole getting a thunderous laugh. I took a deep breath, told the last three lines of the joke she'd interrupted, and said goodnight and THAT my friends is why you don't miss a single Comedy Night at Luna's.

UPDATE: She is giving me what for on my FB page now: https://www.facebook.com/kljfans/posts/10151839047697873?comment_id=30152949&offset=0&total_comments=102

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

its Amazing that i barely know this man,yet Keith constantly talks about me, close family friends and relatives. Last year i added Keith via Facebook because of his Comedy shows/New and review spread,I loved this art covers on his CD's for sale,and his overall comedic style. My Wife Aja works at Luna's Cafe. Wednesday nights are open mic or Keith's feature/varies comedians. It started when i made my first comment on one photo he posted on his Facebook page,he replied calling me a sexist,which had nothing to do with the comment,before i knew it i was being heckled by every Keith Kiss Ass on the internet. Mine you i added him,because i very much enjoyed his style/comedy. ha. and the first thing he says is im a sexist?? Then i realized not one person on his page really knew who i was,so Keith can say whatever he wants .his Kieth Kiss Asses with follow. "Fresh Meat" for "Comedy Gold" Again he had to start one more situation,because he can get away with it. People calling me a stalker,but they can slander people they do not even know. Because rushing home to Write a full page about someone calmly talking to another person at a restaurant is a total comedic crime,not to mention others were talking!!(your friends) for someone who supports many rights issue's. talking is not accepted during "his" presentation. Keith is a classic Narcissistic Wreck,i wouldn't doubt your marriage is failing. Probably tried to cheat on her? or should i not mention that. you use people to make your videos,trips,gas,and time. the man i barely knew is coming to light from just talk around town,the People who follow you either don't know,sick as you are,or accept followed fame. You cant just leave us alone,i don't even talk to you until events like this happen. Comedy is misery,you play it well my friend. Last time i saw one of your stand up shows you kindly said "guys please don't heckle" contradicting isn't it. People believe want you want! i did nothing to his sad little man or to anyone nor ever will. comedy can be insultingly fun,but you are making this personal. 41 and still in Sacramento,i hope you hit big. Senator Montoya felt awful and confused. your jokes suck,plan and simple. you make your way to popularity by stirring the pot with a very long spoon. half of the audience is wasted by the time the show starts.

KLJ said...

Thanks for the many kind words about my comedy and I agree about the art for my covers. I've been very lucky that way.
Sorry about your family but you know, you win some you lose some.

KLJ said...

Also, I hope that you made sure it's cool with Aja for you to list her name. I'd attempted to leave it anonymous.

Frank Nethercutt said...

Considering Luna's is mention above. I notice no one really checks out your tweets,posts,blog unless you start a conflict. Keith you do scare me,you convince people to take you side without letting them watch any evidence of that night via Video. that is amazing. takes real talent to manipulate a situation into your control,well i guess you do block people,delete comments cry like a little baby when you are losing. "i feel regret" ha you don't.


Overall im glad this happen,because i can see who you really are,and hopefully others will as well. ha well some already do. can only fuck over so many people till the point they start knocking on your front door. living downtown doesn't help.

At the end of the night,i can actually sleep knowing i didn't cause pain in someone else's life. be careful what you say,what if someone is sick? or disabled? caused torment. lawsuits suck. Considering you said.knowing this family history they come back for more. so you then are aware of how stressful it is for us to deal with your attacks? sounds like harassment to me is finally admitted.

Leave us alone,stop it. your jokes are only funny to those who find them funny. being a comedian does not give you a free card to heckle and harass.

KLJ said...

Leave you alone?
Please read your original comment again. The comment posted to MY blog.

The blog where I complain about your mother in law coming to MY show of four years and talking loudly during MY performance.
(Yes, it's also your wife's place of business, but your wife works waiting tables for people who've come to the show I produce. I've always treated your wife as politely and professionally as possible while she is waiting there.)

Your other complaint is about my reply to a post that you made on MY Facebook wall. I said "When women speak up we criticize their appearance". And you went nuts on me. I disagreed with one thing you said, that was all, and you treated it like a vicious attack on your person and went after me accordingly.

You don't have to come to my facebook page. Your mother in law doesn't have to come to my show (where she has always gotten in free.) You don't have to come to my blog.

Who needs to leave who alone?

It's funny that you mention me banning you from my wall on FB. That sure sounds like me trying to be left alone rather than me not leaving you alone. And then you seek out somewhere else to go after me. Some other way to interact with me, the guy you supposedly want to leave you alone.

If you just stay away from me I'll never mention you again.

You and your mother in law call me a failure, say I'm not funny, ridicule me for my age, for being pale, for balding (here and on the FB post). And then you play the victim.

If I ban you here like I did on FB, because I really would like to be left alone by you, will you go find some other way to continue to interact with me? To continue to force me to have you as a part of my life? I sincerely hope not.

Please, go on with your life and let me and more poor mislead fans and friends go on with ours.

KLJ said...

PS: No video that I know of exists of that evening, but there were plenty of witnesses and I haven't lost any fans or friends over this, so I couldn't have been as out of line and mean spirited as you, who were not there, wish to believe. Either that or that entire cafe was full of my fellow assholes.

KLJ said...

One last thought.
You say you can sleep at night knowing that you didn't cause pain in someone else's life.

You and your mother in law have tried everything to see if you can hurt me. You're making fun of me for being 41 and not being further in my career, even making accusations about my marriage, what depth won't you sink to try to hurt me if you can?

And all I've done to you is to criticize a comment you made on my wall on FB, and to rudely (I admit it) tell your mother in law to shut it when she interrupted my show.
No matter how bad you paint these things, they're gonna compare to the attacks you guys are making when it comes to trying to hurt someone?

So sleep well but not because you didn't try, only because you failed after giving it your best shot.

Believe it or not, I just want to do the act that 99% of the time I do without having to fight with anyone. I have never specialized in that. That isn't the shtick I'm known for. I have three hours of recorded material and none of it is me fighting with audience members. For the record, you're mom in law wasn't even an audience member. She was at her daughter's place of business behaving out of line with the stated etiquette of the night, something no one else had a hard time adhering to.