So, I show up at MVP, the sports bar where I'm performing as part of their Thursday Night comedy show and the Republican National Convention is on. McCain is speachifying. In one corner of the bar sits three Mexicans and a black guy. I notice the Mexicans are groaning every time the TV screen show anyone who isn't white while the black guy is cheering. I have to know, so I ask 'em whats going on and apparently they have a bet going over whether or not there will be at least ten non-white people shown.
This is the best way to watch the RNC. Now these camera men have been instructed to find the minorities and zoom in. You can feel how big of an effort it is. I'm thinking there's a major bonus for every minority they manage to get on screen.
When I noticed the "Look, we got minorities!" shots alternating with close ups of the most inbred, redneck looking good old boys imaginable I figured we must have at least one Democrat who infiltrated the camera crew. They put one cowboy hat wearing, mouth like a train wreck, Hee-Haw fanatic on screen who was SO white I suggested my gamblin' friends take a point off. This guy and the black Republican they zoomed in on before him should've just cancelled each other out.
When they cut to a red head who looked a bit wild for the RNC I proposed half a point on the assumption that she slept with a black guy once, in college.
I don't have real good impulse control and when McCain talked about Russia invading their neighbor just so they could control more of the oil market I yelled from the back of the room "GEE. SOUNDS FAMILIAR!" Luckily it was a pretty liberal crowd and I got my first applause break before I'd even hit the stage. Thanks gang.
The Mexicans lost the bet. They showed exactly ten non-honkies (though I'm convinced that one guy changed hats so that he would look like two black republicans.)