Sunday, January 14, 2007

Bad Cat Owners

I don't own a cat. So why am I at Safeway, after midnight, buying cat food, litter and a litter box? It's freezing out. Puddles are solid ice, and there's my neighbors cat, crying outside their door. I ring the doorbell, knock, nothing. So I grab the little beast, lock her in my bathroom and then, sniffling, sick, only up this late because I had a show, I have to go get her supplies.

Why do these people feel the need to own a cat? They've already had one cat just disappear on them. Cats are non-indigenous predators. They don't belong outside. And indoor cats are so cool. They have such amazing personalities. So, please, keep your damn cats inside. Sheesh.


Cary said...

You, sir, are a good egg.

Keith Lowell Jensen said...

Well thanks. Thats nice of you to say. I wasn't meanin' to toot my own horn, I was more interested in bitching about the neighbors bed animal husbandry but I guess I am pretty freakin' great aint I?

s.k.namanny said...

A good egg, yes. But you did them no favours. The only way to cure these ridiculous cat people of their crippling malady is some shock to the system.
Peeling the cat off the frosted porch in the morning might have been the wake up call they required. Now they are doomed to tiptoe through hairball vomit carpet mines, disoriented by the absolutely revolting odor of cat food and litter, in clothing covered in the dander and hair of an animal that is supposed to be thinning the rodent population.

I'm sure they'll thank you later.