Hi from Ashland

We're at the Cedarwoods Inn in Ashland Oregon.
Getting ready to head up to Portland where we'll have dinner with our good friends Bob and Irina before continuing on to Seattle.
The drive has gone well so far. We packed lots of good food, so other than one highly offensive cup of gas station coffee we have avoiding yucky road food and the yuck road gut that comes with it.
At least the coffee was free. When the guy didn't want to charge me for it, that was the second sign that it might not be drinkable. Sign one; the creamer was actually in big dispensers just like the coffee as if to say, "You'll need quite a bit of this if you're gonna try to drink that."

Sayonara

Bye Everybody.
Bryna and I are off to SketchFest Seattle for the rest of the week. YAY.
www.sketchfest.org

And don't rob my house. My friend Lou is staying in it while we're gone. Sorry.

Took Down my Last Blog Post

Someone I was once friends with has been in the news. I took down the blog post about this person. We were friends, and it feels wrong to share information that I have from that friendship in a public forum at this time.

Racism Pays Big

Imus gets millions from CBS Radio in settlement. His argument was that he was hired to say horrible stupid things and firing for doing so is breach of contract.

Well, he has a strong argument and by settling out of court CBS is saying "Yeah, we kind of did hire him knowing he was a racist gas bag."

So maybe the venom thrown at Imus should be thrown at CBS instead. After all there's no shortage of racist asses out there but we don't spend much energy on most of them. What made this racist ass different is that CBS put him on the air, let him be a sports commentator and continued to let him hold this position after many equal if not more offensive utterings.

Of course they let him continue; His past uttering grabbed that lucrative "racist ass market" while going unnoticed by the also lucrative "we don't like racist asses market." It was the best of both worlds and CBS made plenty of money off of their angry white dude listeners.

"But isn't it free speech?" you ask. Of course it is. I'd fight to the death for Imus' right to say stupid things. And I'd refuse to give a cent to any company who hired him or profitted off of him. On the other hand, I can give some credence to the argument that his comments qualify as slander. He did call some young female athletes "hos" after all. You probably should have a right to play sports withough being accused of being sexualy permiscuous by some dumb ass with no talent on nationaly broadcast radio. No, my calling him a dumb ass with no talent is not slander. I have strong evidence to support my claim that Imus is a dumb ass with no talent.

So the no talent dumb ass who never deserved to make a dime to begin with is now richer than I can ever hope to be. Slandering talented young female athletes with racist slurs is quite profitable. Oh well, I'd rather be poor.

Muzak, I finally get it...

I was at the natural foods market today. They were playing Rufus Wainwright. It was a real dramatic tune. Rufus is belting it out, just pouring his heart and soul into the song in every way. And people are comparing pastas, selecting the reddest apple. It just seemed wrong. I found myself wishing they'd play something innocuous, and that's when it hit me, I Understand Muzak now! Though I think I'd still prefer silence.

Straight from the horse's mouth...

Show Tomorrow Night

Tomorrow night The Coexist? Comedy makes its debut here in Sacramento as we kick off four shows.
The 8pm shows are already sold out for both nights, but we still have tickets for 10pm both Friday and Saturday. See www.CoexistComedy.com for details and such yeah.

Tomorrow morning the other comics and I will be on Good Morning Sacramento. I'm excited to see the tour getting off to such a great start. I can't wait to see how far we can take this one. Woohoo.

If you want to hear our radio interview from earlier this week you can listen here.

Egads, I'm chock full of nervous energy. I didn't think I'd be nervous going into this one, after all it's material that is well tested, but the shows getting so much attention and the turns the pressure up. Of course, when people are excited about the show and the theater is crowded it's easier to score. I know we'll do great.

I have SOOO much material. I'm excited about touring around and experimenting with different sets. It's a subject near and dear to my heart so it's been easy to do much writing. See ya there.
And I'll get up a high-lites you tube video with all the comics ASAP.

The Real Price of Spam

If a sexy lady with large breasts and a penchant for short skirts and geeky guys who think they're funny actually does want me to show her around my town I'll discard the message with the rest and that is a truly awful thing.

You're Hotter Than Your Boyfriend

Yep. "You're hotter than your boyfriend." That's what a car-load of girls yelled to Bryna as she walked down the street holding my hand. I felt they complimented us both.
I wish I'd have been quicker on my feet. They were already gone before I thought to yell, "Yeah, and I don't even make a-lot of money."

Gold Club Centerfolds = BIG RIP OFF! ! !

I went there for my buddy's bachelor party. We got talked into a "Silver, bachelor party package for $200. This would include three dances for said buddy, in private, and a "shower show." Fast talk, and one dude who sort of crashed our party giving it the hard sale, and us idiots bought it, BUT we still had to pay $15 each to get in. And the ATM machine, provided for our convenience had a service fee. A SIX DOLLAR SERVICE FEE! What the hell? So buddy gets his private dance. He's pretty pleased with that, but we've also been feeding him booze all night. He had fun, cool, all is happy. The shower show, which we paid pretty big money for is two girls in a shower, haranguing us for cash. Everything they did they required more money for. And they'd really hard sell it.
The shower show was also given while the feature was on stage, so you get one or the other. We chose wrong. The shower show was stupid. We paid to be panhandled by naked chicks.

So that's where we got hosed. Now lets talk about where we got outright stolen from.

It turns out one of the guys in our group paid with a hundred dollar bill. He watches the cashier put his hundred dollar bill under the $20 in the register. She then gives him change for a twenty. He says "Hey, I gave you a hundred." She says, "No, you gave me a twenty. Guys try to do this to me all the time." Like many guys in that environment he was feeling like he couldn't speak up and say he'd been had. I hope he changes his mind and calls them tomorrow.

Some of the dancers were extremely attractive and put on a good sexy show. The only thing the cheap, cheesy dive has going for it.

The dude that sold us the "Silver Package" is outside when we come out, waiting for the next sucker. He sees us. Does he ask how we like everything? Does he check in to see if we were pleased with our purchase, proud to have given us such a good time? No. He avoids eye contact. he knows he scammed us. And he knows we know.

To hell with that place. I'm no stranger to strip clubs. This was the sleaziest, tackiest crap I've seen. If you're having a bachelor party and you want a strip club, go elsewhere. Why doesn't someone open up a cool burlesque room in Sacramento? Hell, why don't I?