Thursday, January 15, 2009

155 All Survived!!!

Wow, the big news, plane crashes on the Hudson River and everyone lives. Awesome.
Almost too good to be true.

I can't help but wonder if they faked it to have some good news to report. "Shit, middle east still a mess, economy screwed, idiot still in office, I know, lets land a fuckin' plane in New York City! Fill it with stunt folks, have the rescue crews ready, it'll be Awesome!"

I don't care, real or fake, I'll take it. Good news, and now America can feel happy, tomorrow's stock market will soar, we'll all be great, until the terrifying realization hits that a BIRD CAN TAKE DOWN A JET! Shit. That aint so good.

I hope there was at least one Arab on the plane so he can give a big told you so to any would be heroes. "I Told You I Had Nothing To Do With It! Punk!... I wasn't planning on making my move until we hit cruising altitude! KIDDING, KIDDING, Relax you John Wayne Asshole!"

The heroic pilot just happens to own a safety consulting firm. Once the inspections are done to make sure HE didn't engineer the whole thing, I imagine their stock prices will be going UP!

Last weeks big news was Twitter getting hacked. All the celebrity Twitter accounts were being used to send spam, just boring old spam, except one CNN newscaster whose "followers" got the message, "I'm high on Crack. I won't be in to work today." I just hope that some CNN newscaster is sitting somewhere saying, "YES! Did I pick the right day to get high and tweet or what!?!"

Some random thoughts:
It would suck to have a lisp and live in Mississippi. "Where you from?" "Tttthhhhhhhhh-pi."
It sucks that if you have a lisp you can't say lisp.
That word ought to be lith. "I have a lith, thank you very much." "Really? I hadn't noticed." It'th thuttle."

It sucks that the word dyslexia would be very hard for anyone suffering that affliction to read.
Dyslexia should be named with a palindrome.

I just got back from performing, this was what was on my mind. :P

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