I hate TV

I do.

I know it's the biggest hipster/snob cliche to say I don't own a TV, but I don't, though I may as well because my home is stocked with two desk top computers, two tablets and one laptop all of which can bring us pretty much every show around.

I love All In The Family, The Simpsons,Star Trek TNG, and I'd probably love Breaking Bad and Downton Abby if I'd give them a chance but they want too much of my time. I can watch a movie. I can give you 2 hours to entertain me. Very rarely do I feel something is good enough to escape into for more time than that before it becomes more about the escape and less about the entertainment.

It sounds like we live in a golden age of television. I'm hearing about all the great shows. Maybe I'll watch 'em someday if I'm stuck in a hospital. But for now I refuse to give up time that I could spend doing something interactive, trying to learn how to play the guitar, or even watching a great movie, and another great movie, or spending time with my loved ones. And that's where the terrible irony is. I lose time with my loved ones because they watch TV, something I have so little interest in sharing with them.

I try. I watched a few episodes of House of Cards. Brilliant. Would have made a great movie. Maybe even a couple movies. I watched Sherlock. Great acting. Funny silly plot lines. By the 3rd episode I was feeling over it. I watched LOST all the way through and I want to kick JJ Abrams in the shins for that. I watched Dexter. Jesus. Really well acted and well written but I just can't spend that much time putting violence in my head. There is enough of that on the news.

Even Facebook, that epic time-suck, is at least putting me in touch with real people who touch my life and whose lives I touch. People I can hug, and know and talk back to.

When I was younger it wasn't a big deal. We all rejected TV and spent our time at the river, or making out, or listening to music, or exploring new foods because life was so exciting and we'd just been given the reigns to our own! But I guess we got bored of all that and now I am feeling increasingly lonely as even my artsy fartsy friends spend more and more time watching and discussing the latest must see TV.

And I still don't know how to play the guitar.

Is the old Jack hiding in the Vatican?

Not everyone remembers this but Jack from the Jack in The Box showed up to save the company which almost died of e-coli.

When I was a kid you'd go to a Jack in The Box drive-thru and you'd actually talk into a clown head to order. They had a big ad campaign when they updated their image and ditched the clown, commercials of the clown being blown up with dynamite and such.

Then, in the early 90s three kids died of e-coli linked back to tainted meat served by Jack in The Box. It hit the company hard as you can imagine. Dead kids equals terrible PR. Sales plummeted and stock value crashed. They were in trouble.

In 1994 Jack came back in the very original and often controversial (Jack blowing up a room full of the suits who'd gotten rid of him) commercials and the public loved it. This new Jack with the normal human body and ridiculous head was a hit. And we forgot all about the e-coli and the dead kids.

And that, is how is I feel about the new Pope.

Solid

I work in a pretty masculine industry. My boss is a pretty manly guy.

When my ulcerative colitis was at it's worse and I'd dropped a crazy amount of weight and looked like death he took notice. He asked how it started and I said that I went to the doctor after not having a solid shit for over a month.

As I tried various treatments and medications he showed his concern in his own manly way.

I'd go into the bathroom and when I came out I'd see him standing nearby.
"Solid?" he'd ask.
I'd shake my head, no.
He'd give me a "Sorry buddy." and we'd go on with our workday.

Then, one day, I came out of the john and he said, hopefully, "Solid?"
I proudly nodded my head, affirmative.
He high fived me.
And throughout the day, whenever there was a quite moment I'd hear him cheer from his office, "SOLID!"

On The Macklemore Witch Hunt:

I don't think he stole the song Thiftshop. The similarities to the song he supposedly cribbed aren't that strong. (Google it if you don't know what I'm talking about.)

I think its a hard sell to say that being white is an advantage in hip-hop. White artists having that level of success in hip hop is still an anomaly outside of ICP circles. (Like crop circles but scarier.)

I don't think his lyrics about worrying that he was gay as a kid represent a lyrical #NoHomo but rather an honest telling of his personal experiences with homophobia, his own. Critics are leaving out the lines "Bunch of stereotypes all in my head." "A preconceived idea of what it all meant".

I don't think saying "I'd think that hip hop hated me" is him saying everyone in hip hip but him is homophobic. I think that's a huge stretch and skips the line "Have you read the YouTube comments lately?"

There are lyrics in Same Love and Thriftshop that I rejoice at hearing on mainstream radio. Both songs had some great things to say and said them to a big audience that needed to hear them.

I find it funny that he's accused of exploiting the momentum of the marriage equality movement. Right, because all those artists have been scoring all them hits doing hip hop tunes about marriage equality. It was a no-brainer. (/Sarcasm)

Could he have handled the awards thing better? Yeah. He could've been a fucking hero. I appreciate when people are heroic. I don't think "You were less than heroic!" is enough of a slight to justify much of the vitriol I've seen aimed his way.

I honestly don't know how the Grammies work. But lets not pretend that this isn't subjective. Did he have the best hip hop/rap album of the year. Probably not. Did the winners in any other category have the best whatever album of the year? Ever? Usually not, with occasional delightful surprises IN MY SUBJECTIVE OPINION! Of course I realize that institutional racism has historically played a role in who gets recognized, continues to play a role, and that is where I think his opportunity to be a hero was missed.

I think he's a good guy, who says some good things, and that his sudden rapid acceleration into HUGE success is probably a bit daunting. I think he's trying, and doing pretty well more often than not.

Not sure if this matters or not, but I'm not writing this as a huge fan of his music. I like Thrift Shop, a fun song that does a great job of mocking the label/status bullshit. I like the words and message of Same Love. I don't actually listen to him often at all.

Some shit happened in 2013, and I tweeted about it

NY and New Jersey a mess after Hurricane Sandy

Republicans Peter King and Chris Christie decide Govt. shouldn't be TOO small. Want govt. in their business a little bit.

Pope quits, which is some shit that doesn't happen

The Pope was in the middle of trying to live tweet the Grammys when he just said, "Fuck it! I'm out.

The Pope is trying to quit. They're gonna kill him now right? Or is that the other big criminal organization based in Italy? I get mixed up.

Chris Dorner murders LAPD so LAPD murders him back

If he is wearing an "I'm not Chris Dorner, don't shoot me” t-shirt I will be impressed.

GOP responds to getting 0% of the minority vote by rolling out a minority member to explain their anti-minority policies.

New Pope got off to a rough start:
New pope: gay adoption = child abuse. So gays who want to adopt can rely on the church to pay all their legal fees?

When they announce the new Pope, everyone reply "Why not Zoidberg?" 'kay? It'll be HILARIOUS!

SCOTUS discusses same sex marriage

I'd like to apologize to everyone for giggling every time I hear "Oral argument" during the same sex marriage discussion.

Justice Scalia leaves an empty seat on either side of him while gay marriage is being discussed .

Paula Deen loses her job for being racist. SCOTUS guts Voting Rights Act.

Well, at least it looks like we're winning on TV.

Wendy Davis' amazing filibuster in Texas
Now they're chanting Wendy Wendy Wendy and I don't think its because they want square hamburgers. #standwithwendy

Gay Marriage legal in CA
During my plural marriage do we burn the bibles before or after sacrificing the goat? Not the goat I'm marrying, a different one.

George Zimmerman Acquitted
C'mon now folks, FLA isn't all bad. I mean, lets remember they are the state that delivered George W's 1st term...okay, bad example.

Obama says if he had a son, he'd look like Trayvon Martin, Right Goes Crazy

When rich white guys accuse a black guy of "starting a race war" I'm not sure which part is funniest but the word "starting" ranks high.

Ben Afleck cast as Bat Man, internet goes bat shit crazy.

My daughter cast me as The Friendly Dog Catcher, nobody much cares.

McDonald's Announces return of Monopoly Game

You could win a million dollars, but you're more likely to get diabetes and heart disease.

Govt. Shut down
Canadian born Ted Cruz is causing me to question my normally progressive views on immigration.

Cruz did not best a 24hr 18 minute filibuster against the 1957 civil rights act & so fails to be AS big an asshole as Strom Thurmond, barely

Obamacare.com stumbles in beta version

If a government capable of such sophisticated conspiracies can't put up a proper website, only one conclusion to draw: Libertarian Hackers!

Wait, so the govt. put up a website and it has bugs to work out? Unacceptable! This BS doesn't happen in the private sector!!!

Edward Snowden springs leak

Hey conspiracy theorists, that this administration seems to SUCK at keeping secrets, that's just part of the ruse right?

Knock Out Game joins razor blades in apples, Satanic Ritual Murder, LSD in Temporary Tattoos and other scary things that never really existed
To know if someone has played the knock out game you tie 'em up and put 'em in water to see if they float...

Goodbye Mandella, Goodbye Lou Reed, Goodbye (and good riddance) clueless “Friends”
One nice thing about a celebrity dying is I get to eliminate a bunch of hack wannabe comics from my FB and Twitter feeds.

Marriage is Gay
So I'm seeing the results of gay marriage being legal! Turns out, if you legalize gay marriage... GAY PEOPLE GET MARRIED!

Wait, there are folks who DON'T believe humans can affect climate by polluting, but DO believe we can affect it by treating gay people nice?

Obama Shakes hands with Raul Castro

Cuba just invaded Poland! Damn you and your handshaking ways Obama!!!

Duck Dynasty

You support free speech but A&E isn't free to choose who speaks for them? Duck dude says what he wants, and A&E airs who they want. Free.

Hey, I don't have a TV show! All this time I didn't even realize I was having my free speech oppressed! NO FAIR!

That the duck dude doesn't understand the 1st amendment is about as surprising as his being homophobic.

WAR ON CHRISTMAS

There are no atheists in foxholes? You mean except for in the war on Christmas right?

I wasn't gonna do Santa with my kid but now... I think black, gay Samantha Claus may be leaving some gifts 'neath the tree

Happy Hollidays? BUT THAT DOESN'T EXCLUDE NON-CHRISTIANS! WAAAAHHHH!!!

My boss: You shouldn't be listening to this. You don't believe in this. Me: You believe in Rudolph the red nosed reindeer?

Skynet goes live and kills us all

...

Atheist Christmas: Until 10 O'Clock

Fuck You, fan mail.

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Atheist Christmas: Advent

Atheist Christmas: Nativity

Atheist Christmas: Tree