Monday, May 28, 2012

New Atheist Church "Leviticus Tattoo"

Monday, May 21, 2012

Eating, checking facebook, waiting for flight, life on the road is so glamorous!
Big plane to Vancouver, tiny plane to Kamloops, sat 37 people, had propellers.
The car from Kamloops to the convention was bigger than the plane we flew in on.
Woah! Had no idea we weren't just part of the regular convention package. Nope, hear all the smart people you want, but when its time for for dick jokes and dinner you pony up 50 bones extra!
(They don't actually use bones as tender in Canada, they have seashells.)

Sure, Caitlin looks happy enough, but she is SO done hearing my voice at this point, you know, because its so soothing and she didn't want to be lulled into a peaceful state of euphoria as that is bad for comedy.

The 7:55 train from Oakland was cancelled. We'd have to wait for the 8:55, oh, no, wait, they got us a bus which would make all kind of wrong turns and end up getting us to town so late the 8:55 train actually beat us here. Awesome.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Power Potty!

My favorite part of seeing The Avengers (which ROCKED) was the men's room after where we guys all went in feeling like super heroes, slamming stall doors open and shut, clicking the locks like were handling machine guns, and then pissing like we're pissing to save the world. And of course none of us looked like heroes. We didn't even look like the guys who get saved. Most of us looked like the victims who you're sad to see die, but not too sad, the guys you knew weren't gonna be in the sequel anyway.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

E-Mail Forwards, Stand Up Comedy Clip

I have fallen behind on my youtube posting. I plan to get back to once a week, starting this week with this clip from my most recent album, Cats Made of Rabbits.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Super Job

Started out as a good day. My daughter was having fun releasing lady bugs into the garden with our fun neighbor. She then started with stickers and one reading "Super Job!" made it onto my face. I kissed my girls and headed out.

I was happy as I walked to Luna's Cafe for my weekly show. The good streak continued when I got there, hanging out with good friends before the show and seeing an awesome crowd file in.
Things remained good through funny sets until the headliner got on and that is when the dog started barking.

The dog was tied to a post outside of the bar across the street while it's owner drank inside. My lady bug loving neighbor went over and pet the dog. The owner came out and she let him know that the dog didn't seem very happy. He played with the dog for a minute and went right back inside. The barking continued. Lady bug went back and pet the dog some more, but it kept barking now because its owner was standing at the door watching with a bemused smirk on his face. I crossed the street and confronted the dude.

"Hey whose dog is this?"


"Because its barking."

"Why does that matter?"

"Because we have a show across the street and the comedian shouldn't have to compete with your dog. Its obnoxious."

"I'll take care of it."

"When will you take care of it."

"Look bro, I said I'd take care of it."

"Well, you haven't. Its been too long already and you're telling me you'll take care of it as you stand there smirking at me and doing nothing while your dog continues barking."

At this point the guy stepped toward me and puffed up. I asked him why he was getting aggro.

"I'm not aggro."

"You're not? This looks like aggro to me. Can you tell me what it looks like when you are aggro?"

I watched him clench his jaw. He was clearly getting very angry. I got ready to fight hoping I wouldn't have to. I could almost hear the click as he decided to stop this train and avoid things getting out of control. He breathed out and calmly said "Its fine man. I'll take the dog home."

As I crossed the street he said "You guys enjoy your show. Have a good night."

I sat down, took a deep breath and as I calmed down I realized that I'd had the entire interaction with a "Super Job" sticker on my face. I love my little girl.