Monday, March 23, 2009

Put Condoms in The Collection Plate at Mass

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Keith Lowell Jensen CD Taping

Photo credit Kiny McCarrick
Click image for bigger version

Keith Lowell Jensen
of The Coexist? Comedy tour
Live CD Recording

Luna's Cafe

1414 16th Street
Downtown, Sacramento
(916) 441-3931

Doors open for food and drinks 7pm, comedy starts at 8pm
April 17th KLJ does material from his club set i.e. jokes for drunks
April 18th Atheist comedian engages in a bit of sacred cow tipping
April 24th Experimental night, notes on stage, new material, riffing, drinking too much coffee

Tickets available now at brownpapertickets.com

Keith Lowell Jensen, co-headliner of The Coexist? Comedy Tour, featured guest on Brian Malow's Science Comedy Tour and one of Sacramento's best known comics will spend three nights taping original material at Luna's Cafe in downtown Sacramento for an upcoming CD.

The taping is divided into three categories over three nights, club comedy, atheist/religious themed comedy and the third night will be the wild card leaving room for KLJ to riff, ramble and if need be, totally make an ass out of himself because he already has two nights of tape so to heck with it right?

Doors open for food and drinks at 7pm, comedy starts at 8pm. The audience is invited to come early as service will be limited during taping and we'd like everyone well fed and at least a little bit tipsy.

Note this is a small venue and WILL sell out quickly. Buying tickets in advance is the only way to guarantee a seat.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Reasons why white people suck

I like making friends on youtube. When I came across youtube.com/KILLMEXICOHATERS and his charming list, (see below) I felt compelled to help him out, (see further below.)

Reasons why white people suck
1. Thier race is the racist race.
2. They are smelly and never take a shower.
3. All they do is crack.
4. Havent done shit in life and still has all that white pride bull shit.
5. Only useful for picking up cans from the trash and giving it to recycle for coins.
6. Have faggot youtubers.
7. Have tons of Achne and Zits on their face.
8. They try to be Gangsta while all they do is try to be black.
9. They have a GAY flag.
10. Are insecure so they get laid by asians.
11. They date asians cuz thats the only women they can satisfy.
12. Theyre FATASS be lovin those cheeseburgers at mcdonalds.
13. Love talking shit online but they are virgins and hide in theyre trailer in real life.
14.Think they rule the world.
15.Are a bunch of stupid inbread, animal fucking, trailor living, lard cooking, fuckheads.
white people = Fuck their on family

Dear KILLMEXICOHATERS,
Can I call you Kill? Or how about Killmex? On your list of "reasons why white people suck" I noticed a few errors and thought I'd help you out.

1. "Thier" should be "Their".
4. "Havent" should be "Haven't", "has" should be "have" and bullshit is generally written as one word.
6. "Have faggot youtubers." The line just isn't clear at all. They have "faggot youtubers" in their basement, for sale, in their iphones?
7. "Achne" should be "acne" and following it with "Zits on their face" is redundant.
10. and 11. Asian is generally capitalized. Also, as a white person I must ask you to refrain from such racism. We have a copyright on that. See point one, here, on you're own list.
12. "Theyre" should be "their", FAT ASS is two words. Lovin' gets an apostrophe at the end there and McDonald's gets not just one but TWO capital letters.
13. Again, "theyre" should be "their".
15. "Inbread" should be "inbred" or, if you think we're sandwich meat, it needs to be two words, "in bread" or perhaps, to stick with your theme, "In Tortillas" would be a better choice.
"Trailor" should be "trailer". Also, lard or manteca is a pretty standard ingredient in Mexican cooking. I myself am a vegetarian. Please, keep the hate accurate.
Lastly "white people = Fuck their on family" I think you mean "Fuck their own family"

I hope this proves helpful. I will run your list by my anal retentive white friends as I'm sure I missed some errors since I'm not 100% white. Peace and Love,
Keith